Dear Broken Toilet...

Oh how you tried to ruin my day. You flooded 2 1/2 rooms in my house by silently spilling water over your edge throughout the night.
But no, you did not succeed. We mopped your mess up and are currently still airing out the carpet in the kids room. And this cute little girl still decided to have a great day. Starting with another round of swimming lessons. I was SO proud to see her doing the very thing that spooked her on the first day of swim lessons a couple weeks ago---floating on her back. She hardly needed any help from the instructor. Go Petey!

Seeing this picture made today happy too. I love these two. I love that they love each other. And I love how cute they are!

And being able to take this cute boy to swim lessons with us made today even better.

Broken Toilet, you tried to give us a bad day. But we won.

Until next time...

Suze.

Growing, Growing, Gone!

Disclaimer: Yes, my son's eyes are red. In trying to be cautious about getting sunscreen in his eyes, I didnt rub the sunscreen close enough to his eyes so he has a sunburned ring under both of his eyes. Can you tell what Spidey is pushing away in the above picture?
Does this show it any better?

How about this?

At the time of these pictures being taken, Ry and I were both laughing at the fact that Spidey was literally pushing me away from him on the carousel. But looking back on these pictures, it makes me sad.

It's hard to think that someday, he wont need me to stand next to him while he rides the carousel.

Even harder to think that someday, he may not need me at all.

Why do they have to grow up so fast?

It's fun and hard to catch tiny glimpses of the way my children are growing and to think of what they'll be like when they grow up. I am so proud of who they are---but cant they just stay little for a while longer?

Every time I turn around, Spidey has a new phrase or word. He is talking like crazy.

And Petey...I thought that girl was sassy before. Look out world!

I am so grateful to call them mine and to share them with my best friend.

And that's how Suze sees it.

Hello, Dentist, I've missed you!

Today was a rotten day.
This morning, I woke up with a toothache. And not a "my wisdom teeth were just pulled" kind of an ache. I tried to put it off and ignore it throughout the day but by lunch time, I was in a lot of pain. So I called the dentist and they got me in three hours later.
I went in and filled out a load of paperwork...since you know, I havent been to the dentist since April 2007 {1 week before my wedding}. Shh!
They did x-rays.
And I got the news.
I had guessed I would need a filling or a root canal but I couldn't tell which kind of pain it was.
How about a filling AND a root canal? Yup, that is the case, my friends.

I tried to hold the tears in while they were giving me the price information but as soon as I got into my car, the floodgates arrived.
Wisdom teeth + root canal & crown + filling = Approx. $4000.
Can you say "stressed out mama"? Cause I sure can!
And yes, money is the biggest stresser but I am also angry that this had to happen when I've been healing from my wisdom teeth. Can I please just deal with one thing at a time?

I drove home with tear stains and mascara on my cheeks.
I walked in the door to find many things. Ill let you take a look for yourself.

Ry and Petey tracing every single letter of the alphabet and having fun doing it.

Pictures colored on the table. Can you guess which one is Petey's and which one is Ry's? ;)

One happy girl with fingers painted so beautifully.

And I was no longer sad. I just stopped stressing for a while. Even though the stress has returned tonight, a huge burden has been lifted off my chest. I know we will be ok. I know things happen for a reason and that we are tested when we need to be. Ry has been living with us again this week and I am not sure what I would've done without her. I understand that I would've dealt with my worries had she not been here but she was such a blessing when I needed some happiness.

I know God did that for me today. He tested me and then showed me where my true happiness is. Not with money or wordly things but with my family and my testimony.

Ry even helped brush Spidey's teeth tonight. It was the cutest thing.

And we all snuggled down for a movie (The Little Rascals) before bedtime. (Actually, she is currently blowing bubbles with them while I finish this blog post and then we are ALL going to bed...7am root canal is calling me).

And that's how Suze finds happiness in the midst of misery.

You are Perfect

{{{Disclaimer: I've heard a song on the radio a couple of times these past few days that really struck me hard...until I went to download it and realized there is a HUGE, ugly word said many times in the song. So in order to keep this post true to it's title, I am going to talk about the song the way I thought it was sung...and not how the words go.}}}

We walked around the temple for Family Home Evening on Monday night. As the kids were walking and I was taking pictures, the song, "Perfect" by Pink came into my head. I've heard it on the radio before and it struck me so hard on this particular day. My favorite part says, "Pretty, pretty please, dont you ever, ever feel, like your less than, less than perfect." You see, my children are perfect. They are perfect for us. They are perfect for each other. And I hope that they always remember this.

I often worry about their self esteem and I want them to know that we love them very much. I try to incorporate fun activities into our days and teach them about their worth. I dont want to miss out on their lives at all, which is why I stay home with them.

People often dont understand why I trade having money for staying home with my kids. It is such a hard thing to explain unless you have lived both sides of it. I've worked and I've stayed home. Both are a challenge in so many different ways but only one comes with eternal rewards.

I see my children loving each other and behaving well and I think, "I did that!". I hear them singing songs or painting pictures and I think, "I taught them that!". I hope I can also succeed in teaching them of their worth and divine nature.

Because they are perfect. And they are worth it.

And that's how Suze sees it.

{{{Now after I know what the true words are to the song, I am sad that I will no longer be singing it in the car with my kids. If only it could have been written my way.}}}

Flag Blocks

My Sister in Law and I have been trying to get together once a week to craft. One of the first projects we decided to tackle were these Flag Blocks from Brown Paper Packages.
My sister in law posted the picture of her finished project on her blog and here is mine.
I think it's cute! We have been going crazy with wood projects so there will be many more to come but that is it for now.

I am currently working on my 4th of July wreath and some blocks to go on the wall. I was going to finish them up and post those today but I realized I didnt have everything to finish them. Darn! I'll try and get them done and posted soon so you can have time to make them yourselves if you'd like.

And that's how Suze crafts it.

#1 Dad

This is Boss' third year celebrating Father's Day. He really does deserve an awesome day but I think Ill have to postpone that since I still cant do everything for the kids (Remember, pain meds = loopy Suze).
I feel so lucky to have such an awesome man in my life. He can be such a kid sometimes and he is perfect for our kids. He loves making our kids laugh. One of Petey's favorite things is to have him spray her with the hose on the trampoline. It's so cute to see her light up when he goes out there to be with her.
He is always willing to do things for our kids, even if it's share his yummy hamburger with his hungry little boy {who had already eaten dinner}.

I was going back through pictures to find some cute ones of him for this post and I realized there are so many things that we go and do without him. I know it bothers him that he misses out on every day life here at home but I am so grateful that he is willing to work hard and continue with school...even when sometimes, it just plain sucks.

Boss has always been a hard worker. For the last 3-4 days, he has been sanding down our kitchen table and putting a beautiful, dark brown finish on it for me. I didnt like the color of the table so he just went ahead and got to work making it into something I would like. He is always doing things like that for me. I am so grateful that he is a handy man and saves us money by learning to do so many things on his own.

I am so very grateful for so many wonderful fathers in my life. What a truly special day we are able to celebrate tomorrow.

And that's how Suze sees it.

Adios, Wisdom Teeth: Part II

It's times like these that I realize just how blessed I am.
Getting my wisdom teeth out wouldn't really be that big of a deal if I wasn't a mom of two children and wife to a busy husband.
But through it all, I've learned how important family is.
Boss' Aunt and Uncle and their 3 girls have been the biggest help. I've spent the last 2 days post surgery at their house ALL DAY LONG. It wasnt planned this way but apparently, when I woke up from surgery, I was asking for them.
And on top of that, we've had one of their girls spend the night at our house each night to help me out with the kids in the morning. Yesterday, Kaitlyn took Petey to her summer movie, since I couldn't go. And today, Gracie got my kids up and ready for the day since Boss is out golfing for Father's Day.
The night before surgery, I dropped the kids off at my mom's who took them over night and watched them until 4pm the next day.
And of course, my own husband has been wonderful throughout this all. He has been here for me and getting me whatever I need.

Last night, I slept much better than the night before...ten hours to be exact!...but in the midst of that, I woke up in an enormous amount of pain from not having any medication in ten hours. I could hardly stand the pain and so I've been laying on the couch all morning, watching Gracie do everything for my children.
They are currently all laying down watching Elf together. :)

And yes, I understand that my medication is just kicking in and this post may sounds weird. My head is sort of spinning right now but I still felt like blogging. :) Sorry.

And that's how Suze sees it.

Adios, Wisdom Teeth

I know, I know, I look pathetic. I'm trying to smile through those chipmunk cheeks and ice packs. And yes, not a single drop of makeup on my face.
I had a lot of fears about getting my wisdom teeth out. Luckily my biggest fear, getting put under the anesthesia, was not bad at all.
My second biggest fear, having a packload of gause in my mouth, has probably been the worst experience out of this all. I am very claustrophobic and was so happy that my bleeding stopped only after a couple of hours. I hated that gause and when I finally got to take it out, I could see a light at the end of this tunnel.

I know you probably think I'm being dramatic since lots of people get their wisdom teeth out but one of the reasons I waited so long was because I was very afraid of it.

All I can say is that I am glad it's all over and the recovery process has started.
Though I'm starving and craving carbs and am also exhausted beyond belief {woke up at 3am and havent been able to go back to sleep yet}, I am feeling optimist and a bit better than yesterday.
Hydrocodone is making my emotions run wild so please forgive me if you follow me on Twitter or Facebook. I'm trying not to post anything too crazy {hubby had to confiscate my phone yesterday after I mentioned to him some things I was trying to tweet. Yikes!}

Happy Friday, everyone!

And that's how Suze sees it.

Where do I find Love?

In the midst of a hormonal breakdown today, my son came up to me, folded his arms, and said, "Hev Pader, Cank cue for day. Aaaa-men!" {Translation: Heavenly Father, Thank you for day. Amen.} He then proceeded to wrap me up in his arms for a great big squeeze and kissed my cheek. This is where I find love.
In a world where unhappiness seems more common than happiness, I have had to search within myself to find what true happiness is. The main conclusion that I have come to is that happiness is found where love is.
When I truly remember the reasons why I love my husband, I tend to get angry less when he makes a mistake. This goes for most situations and helps me remember the eternity of love I have been given, instead of focusing on the sometimes crappy 10 seconds I am currently living in.
So I search for love.
And I find it in that boy above. His entire demeanor is love {besides the hitting problem}. He can make any person feel good about themselves. He loves to run up to people and squeeze their legs or beg to be picked up and wrap his hands around their neck.
I find love in mommy daughter dates. This past Friday, Petey and I went to the movies together. Having that one on one time really helps me to realize who she is as an individual and who she is becoming.

I find love in others loving my children and taking time to teach my children new things. {even if it is video games}

I find generous amounts of love in a husband who just wants his wife to be happy with herself because he can see the special person she already is. Who loves playing with children and gets involved in the things they are doing. Who works hard and trades sleep for books and tests so that our family can have a better life.

I find love in family members who love my family unconditionally {not just my own mother}. Who love us despite the mistakes we make and the things that come spurting out of our mouths. Who support us no matter our decisions. Who make our children feel special and also who make my husband and I feel special.

In a world filled with so much unhappiness, where our bodies are emotionally attacked daily and we are often told we are not good enough, it is love that stays constant and is something we can all have.

And that's how Suze sees it.

Proud Mommy Moment

New Mommy/Surrogate Mommy Edition:Have I told you how much I love this beautiful pregnant lady? This is her 2nd picture on the blog this week. She must be special to me, right? :)

I have decidd to focus today's Proud Mommy Moments on two mommy's I'm proud of, instead of talking about my children (Is that allowed, Emmy?).

Leyla has been on bedrest, off bedrest, in the hospital, out of the hospital, in for emergency dr's visits, etc this past month with her soon to be born daughter (Remember THIS post about Mia's adorable room?). She also has a handsome son who is weeks older than my oldest. Mia has decided that she would like to come into this world in her own special way, declaring that she's coming but then deciding today's not the day. I can already tell she will be such a special little girl.

And why am I proud of her momma?
Let's see...to start the bragging about my friend...She is always positive and learning new ways to be a better mom. She is a very positive influence in my life. She is intelligent and she has great style. This must be why we get along. She is one of my closest friends and it's been years since I've really felt like I had someone I could call on a pin drop and they'd be there for me. She's now one of those people in my life.

And then there's the other special surrogate mother in my life this week. Boss' 14 yr old cousin, Ry, wanted to spend a week with us {she lives 15 min away} and help out with the kids. And she has done just that! I've found her reading to the kids,

helping them swim,

and keeping them entertained while I cook dinner.

Among that, she also swept, vacuumed, and mopped my floors AFTER picking up all the clutter in my family room. She watched the kids while I did dishes AND keeps asking me if she can help me fold laundry (Umm, yes! We'll get to that soon, Ry. haha). I am so grateful for these young girls that hope to someday be mothers. Ry is a mother in training and my kids get to be her guinea pigs. :)

And that's how Suze sees it.

Proud Mommy Moment

I love linking up to Emmy with my Proud Mommy Moment {on the weeks that I remember to}.
This week is focused on a special little girl in our family {Oops, wasnt my PMM about her last week too? I promise, Ill throw in some with our Spidester soon too!}.
Petey started swim lessons this week. This is our first time doing them and so I wasn't quite sure what to expect.
Petey in her first five minutes of her very first swim lesson. She is the 2nd kid in on the right.

She didnt cry for the first part of the lesson and seemed to be doing fine...until they started doing this in the above picture. She wanted NOTHING to do with laying back into the water and trying to float. Can you see how she's fighting him to be in an upright position? At one point, she actually grabbed his lanyard and ripped it off his neck. I thought she'd broken it until I saw him clasp it back on after she was done.

Her 2nd day, I was hoping it wouldn't get any worse. She said she wanted to go back so I thought we were over her initial fear but as soon as she saw the pool and the teachers, she freaked out and started crying...and didnt stop for the entire 35 minute session.

At the end of that session, I was given advice to stay positive and not talk about the fact that she had cried. So the entire way home, I praised her for the things I had seen her do (jumping into the water, doing "monkey crawls" along the side of the pool, etc).
And then today happened...

Petey and her friend, excited and ready for their lessons.

Still happy as can be, waiting to get in the pool.

STILL happy while IN the pool. :) Petey cried for maybe 2 minutes today, when they started the lessons. In the middle of her crying, she looked over at me and I smiled and clapped for her. She perked up and put a smile on her face and stopped crying after that. She was jumping in the water, kicking her legs and blowing bubbles with her class. She didnt go under the water when they played "Ring Around the Rosie" but that's ok. It's only her 3rd day, you know. :)

I am one very proud mommy of my very brave girl.

And that's how Suze sees it.