The Closet Reorganization

Today was a day...a LONG day. My allergies have been taking over my body and I'm pretty sure it's resulted in a sinus infection.
But today was still a day. And it was a fun day for the kids!
We spent our morning at Toy Town in Ahwatukee and while out that way, I could NOT pass up a trip to Ikea. So even though I was babysitting a 5 week old baby, we made the trip! And though that sweet little baby screamed most of the trip and blew out two diapers AND my son was being a stinker (His silly face is deceiving.). {PS: This picture is the epitome of my children. Spidey being silly and Petey admiring herself in a mirror in the background. I love my kids!!!}Petey was pretty good. But she's still a curious three year old and I had to make sure we didn't lose her (We didnt.).
The reason for our trip to Ikea involved the childrens' closet, which has been a disaster! Everything we don't want to look at gets thrown in there and I was sick of it.
So even though our trip to Ikea was short, I grabbed a few more boxes that hold little toys in.The kids potato heads were taking up too much space in their boxes so I put all the pieces in these containers. Also, Spidey got a Cooties game for Christmas and we fit all of the pieces into a container as well. Space saver!!!We decided we needed to move Spidey's clothes into the kids' closet (They were in a broken dresser in the office.( so I bought a little hanging compartment from Walmart and his clothes fit perfectly!The last piece of smart storage I found was also from Walmart but the original idea came from Pinterest. I bought a shoe holder for the door and stuck a bunch of little toys/barbies/cars/the potato head bodies in each compartment.
The closet is much neater now and that makes me a happy woman. :)

And just in case you needed some extra entertainment tonight, here's a video of my monkey jumping off a stool. He's definitely a keeper!

And that's how Suze sees it!

Cancer walks and temple trips

What a week.
I had two favorite days this week that both involved a very special place we like to visit.
My first favorite day started when I realized I didn't have enough favorite pictures of my son to put up on my picture collage wall.
So with this adorable face in tow, we headed to the Mesa Temple grounds to get some good pictures. Sister came along too. Yes, she sits in the very back of the van. It's just easier that way since I feel like we're always carting around cousins or siblings that have a hard time climbing into the backseat. And a temple trip is not a temple trip without my kids listening to Jesus speak to them. They LOVE that part. (Petey was begging to go back today so she could hear Jesus talk again.)Then, a quick bathroom break and an adorable smile from my Petey.And then it began. This boy is always full of cheese and he is always SO busy. Can you see why it's hard to get pictures of him? :)Sibling love. I love, love, love this picture! Another sibling picture. I'm not quite sure what they were looking at, though. :)Isn't he adorable? Yesterday I said, "You're my sweet baby boy." And he said, "I not a baby! I big boy!" And I got emotional and sad thinking that my little boy is already in his "big boy" stage. He is supposed to stay my baby!!!!!!! But really, I can't deny that he's a big boy. He is a little smarty pants.

This brings me to my second favorite day. On Thursday, my aunt (Well, Boss' aunt) watched my kids so I could make a trip to the temple for February (Remember my New Year's goal of going every month?). The temple is such a special place and brought me so much peace this week. I realized how great my life is and how blessed I am. And I also learned that happiness is attained, not given. We each choose whether we are happy or not. Life is hard at times for everyone but life can also be filled with happiness for everyone.
Another thing I realized this week happened as I climbed South Mountain for the Climb to Conquer Cancer 11 mile hike. (Yes, 11 miles. My legs are dying right now!) It brought back memories of 3 years ago when I couldn't attend the cancer walk due to being in the hospital at 9 weeks pregnant with Spidey. I had completely forgotten the feelings of that awful day (that obviously turned out good). I had been having stomach pains only on one side of my stomach and when I called my ob, he told me to get to the hospital right away because the most common thing when only have one sided abdominal pain in pregnancy is a tubal pregnancy. The whole way to the hospital, I remember crying and talking to my husband about what could happen. With a tubal pregnancy, they often abort the baby to save the momma or in certain cases you keep the baby but it ruins your tubes and prevents any more pregnancies. I remember grieving and thinking that I was going to lose this child and that I may never be able to give Petey a sibling.
Obviously, it wasn't a tubal pregnancy. It was actually nothing but an overreaction (Embarrassing!) but I'll never forget the feelings of sadness as I thought about my daughter not having a sibling. Even just imagining that made me so sad so it breaks my heart when I see people actually going through it.
So today as I walked, I chose to focus on the fact that she DOES have a sibling and that we are SO blessed. I cannot reiterate enough how special I feel to be the mother of these two precious people. And I also cannot express enough gratitude to my Heavenly Father who gave us these children and who made everything ok with my second pregnancy (It was the easiest pregnancy ever!).

And that's how Suze rambles on and on and on. :)

Goodbye, hair

This is a cell phone picture I took a couple of weeks ago with my cute girly. LOVED my hair this day. I loved my long hair. I love having long hair. But due to dying it too much in the past year, it HAD to be cut. This is a picture I took yesterday.
Goodbye, hair! :)Hello, cheesy boy and stylish-haired momma. :) I can't wait to have long hair again but I do love this haircut. Sorry I have been gone a lot. I haven't had internet all week. But I'm back!!!

And that's how Suze gets her hair cut. Thanks, Heather!

Too Far into the Future

I am so blessed to have such a sweet little girl in my life. But with that blessing I feel nervous for her also.
At home, Petey is feisty. She has always been that way. As sweet as she is, she can talk back to me as much as I talked back to my own mother in my teen years. And she whines...a lot. But the majority of the day, she is just sweet. She likes to share with others, snuggle with mom, and tells me I'm beautiful more times than I have counted. So why does this sweetness make me nervous? Mostly because I want to raise a girl who makes choices based on what she wants and not what is cool to others. I want her to know right from wrong and be brave enough to stand up for herself. I want her to not be her mom.
And I'm not trying to slam myself or tell you I don't love myself but if I could change one thing, it would be the choices I made in my growing up years. And I see so much of myself in my girl.
She is just as timid as I am around new people and once she is comfortable around someone, she is wild. :)
I hope and pray that I can teach her to be strong.
Because I believe I have learned to be strong. I just want her to learn earlier. :)

Am I the only one who thinks this far into the future with my toddlers? Maybe I'm truly crazy. But I often think about the future because I know the way I choose to raise my kids right now can affect the way they are in the future.

And that's how Suze sees it.

Thoughts on a Sunday Morning

The other morning, I was snapping pictures of my son at the park thinking, "He is so clean and handsome looking this morning!" Thanks to my mom, he had sported this combed over hair do the night before and I fell in love with it. Doesn't he look so handsome? Don't get me wrong, I love my boy in a faux hawk but this is equally as adorable. Well, that night, the kids ate all of their dinner so they earned an ice cream cone. I had to go get my little sister ready for bed so I left the room for a while and when I came back, this is what I found.He is such a BOY! Oh the capabilities of going from so stinkin' clean to SO stinkin' dirty all in the same day is pure talent.
But he was happy and so I laughed it off and washed him up when he was done.

I'm so thankful for those little things in life that I get to appreciate and enjoy on a daily basis. And I'm so thankful for this sweet little guy in my life who is at the age where I am getting more snuggles daily.

And that's how Suze sees it.

Simplicity

As I mentioned in the previous post, I've had a bit of a set back lately dealing with my PCOS. It's not so much that I am depressed as it is my heart aches right now (It's hard for my husband to tell the difference, especially since depression runs so strongly in my family). I'm sorting through the emotions that come up unexpectedly throughout each day and realizing I CAN DO THIS---but the easiest way to do this is to take it one day at a time. So I try not to think about the what if's and the when's of the children in our life. But I find myself doing it anyway...
Will there only be 2? Will there be 7 (ha!)? Will we have multiples from doing fertility? Will we end up adopting?
I could go on all day long, asking myself what my life is going to be like in the future but honestly, it hasn't done me any good up until this point and will not do me good as I look to the future.
I feel like I'm staring over a cliff and deciding which way I'm going to be saved. Will it be the helicopter or the large trampoline below? I know it's a silly analogy but I feel like there are different ways my life can go from here on out. It can be a scary leap of faith like the trampoline jump or I can be saved by a helicopter and not have to deal with this uneasiness much longer. There are so many things I wish I could just decide right here and now and know how life will work out. So many things in my head keep changing. Like the fact that going through this infertility has actually made me want a larger family again and how after having Petey, I was scared to death of ever having multiples (because she was so hard by herself) and now, it would be such a blessing to get two in one pregnancy. Because now pregnancy is hard and it isn't determined by the way I plan it. And that's scary for me.
So which way do we go? Because I feel stuck in the middle and neither right or left seems to be the right way to head right now. So maybe I'll just decide to stay put until God decides to open up a new path that is right for our family.

Can you believe this is my baby? Lately, I've been getting asked his age a lot because he speaks clear sentences ALL DAY LONG and every time I tell them he is 2, I get asked if he's closer to 2 or to 3 and I have to think about it and realize he'll be 2 1/2 in only 6 more weeks. I know I'm being ridiculous but he is growing up way too fast! The sentences are so, so sweet and he melts my heart but sometimes I panick when I forget what it was like to have a baby in the home. It gives me anxiety to think that I haven't appreciated enough moments with the children I've been blessed with.

So even though I can't get those moments back, I will continue to appreciate the fact that I am a mom and I am very blessed. And when a new path opens up, I'll be standing right there ready to take it.

And that's how Suze rambles.

Family Time

This past week has been hard. Extremely hard.
I feel like I've worked so hard the past 6 months to become stronger and more at peace with this life that I'm now living but many events from this past week have brought me back to square one...or maybe square two at the most.
But amidst this storm, my life continues to go on. And each day, I heal a little bit more and become one step closer to my final goal: Peace. We went on a picnic last Saturday to a new park a couple miles from our neighborhood. I love my boys and their silly faces.Us girlies eating our picnic lunch.Spidey had fun playing under the bike racks. :) Such a creative little man.And of course, Petey decided to make sand angels because she didn't feel like she had enough sand on her body already. :)

I'm learning to cope on the days that are hard and cherish that days that are wonderful.
I have so much to be thankful for and I want to remember how wonderful my life is. Honestly, I know it could be so much worse and I am grateful for all that God has blessed our family with.

And that's how Suze sees it.

Daughters in my Kingdom: Chapter 2

If you don't know what the title of this post means and want to know more about what I'm writing about, please go check out my sister in law's blog, here.
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Have you ever thought about what the title Relief Society really means? Before reading this chapter, I had never really realized (sad but true) that the word relief was the main word here and that the organization of our Relief Society is to bring relief to each other, as sisters in the church. How wonderful a society that's main goal is to bring relief to others.
As I was reading this past week, I thought back to my sisters and mother so many times. I am lucky enough to have been surrounded by women my entire life and to know what the love of a sister really feels like.

But that also makes me think of the many other "sisters" who have come and gone from my life. There have been extended family members and in laws, EFY counselors, Young Women leaders, neighbors, friends, and other women who have made an impact on my life. Many are not still in my life but all helped me become the woman that I am today.

The past 8 months of my life have been some of the hardest I've ever had to face so far and though it pains me to see the friends I've lost through this process, I have gained a knowledge of who will stick by my side, even through the truly ugly moments.

Sisters (biological or not) are a blessing from our Heavenly Father. To have somebody of your same gender who understands you and supports you is a very special feeling (because let's face it, as much as our husbands love us and try to understand us, there are some things they won't be able to understand...and that's ok!).

When Joseph Smith organized the Relief Society, he did so because as women, we are natural nurturers. We tend to look at someone who is going through a hard time and want to help. And many times, we know what to do to help. We are good at what we do and should be proud of that!

If you didn't already know this, I have the calling of "Compassionate Services Director" in my ward. I often get to see firsthand the blessings that come from serving others through their trials. I organize meals, babysitters, rides, anything that our special sisters need, with permission of the Relief Society President. This calling has taught me so much about what it is to be a sister in our Relief Society. In the two funerals we have helped with, I had to start turning down help from members of our ward because too many people were volunteering! This brought such a sweet spiritual feeling into my heart to know that when people are hurting, others will serve them, no questions asked.

A couple of times, I have set up meals for families without knowing the very reason for the meal and without knowing the reasons, sisters in our ward are still willing to serve.

This has taught me how much Relief Society means to our church and how much it means in my life. To be an active Relief Society member is a very special blessing I hold very dear to my heart.

I am so grateful for the many opportunities Relief Society has given me to serve, love, and help others. I am grateful for all of the service and love that it has provided for my family.

And that's how Suze sees it.

Valentine's Ruffle Pants

A long, long time ago, I saw a tutorial from Make It and Love it on Pinterest for some cute and easy leggings. I knew that was a doable sewing project for me but never really got around to it.
Then last week we were walking around in Hobby Lobby when I saw that their Valentine's fabric was 50% off and I knew this was the perfect opportunity to try out the leggings tutorial.
To see the original tutorial, go here.

I bought a cute pink fabric for the pants and cut out the pattern using another pair of leggings. I sewed the pieces together using the tutorial above and then got started on my ruffles. Isn't thi heart fabric adorable? I spent less than a dollar on this much fabric and I still have a lot left over! I cut two 4 inch strips of heart fabric and hemmed one side. I then ruffle the fabric and attached it to the bottom of the leggings.Cute cute cute! After the ruffle was sewn onto the pants, I sewed the top and put the waistband in. This literally took me less than an hour from start to finish.And with that extra fabric, I made a pair of leggings for my baby niece, Ellie. So cute!Here's a picture of the matching girls. Unfortunatly, Ellie's pants were too small(!) so we put another pair of pink pants over them for the pictures...and then we brought them home and gave them to Petey's baby doll. :)I also made a cute little headband for Ellie.I am so glad to have another girly in the family. I love making things for little girls! :)

And that's how Suze sews it.

Preoccupied

Every day, as I sit down to the computer at the end of the day, I think about blogging and then push it to the side. And because my days have been filled, the blogging I've wanted to do has waited.
But today's the day this little girl debuts on my blog.
Three weeks ago, my just-older-than-me sister had a precious baby girl in California. Originally, I planned to go and help her 2-3 weeks after the baby was born. Then, we decided we couldn't afford it and so I accepted the fact that I'd meet this baby girl in March. Then, my sister had her appendix removed and a couple of other hospitalizations and I wanted to drive up there again. Then, my sister decided to fly down here so we could all be of more help during this painful time for her.
So I didn't have to wait! Petey already adores this little girl cousin of hers. This is her first girl cousin on my family's side. Big brother, little sister. I love my K Bear. I was pleasesantly surprised that Spidey actually liked this baby girl and wanted to be around her and touch her softly. He sometimes gets rough with her but he is learning. I missed K Bear so much and am so happy to see him!
They came into town Sunday night but I got to meet this sweet baby girl Monday morning. I was so glad I got to help care for her.
I gave her a bath and though she gave me many of these dirty looks, she didn't cry. Grandma took both of the 2 year old boys to the store so Petey was my little helper and loved bathing Baby Ellie. All warm and toasty after her bath. Petey helped me pick out her outfit and of course, her bow. Doesn't she look like a little princess?When Boss came home from school, he spent dinner time (literally, since the rest of us were eating) snuggling on Ellie. I love the way he loves babies. He is such a good dad...and uncle!That night, we took K Bear back to our house since he hadn't been sleeping well through the night. I wanted to let Grandma, Grandpa and my sister get some sleep. The kids all took a bath together and had so much fun. They all looked so cute wrapped up in their towels. Then I put their jammies on (I swear K Bear was happy)and they snuggled up all in the same bed (by choice). It only lasted about 10 minutes before Spidey started screaming, "K Bear hit me!" (Seriously, my boy is SO the instigater and usually hits K Bear first so not much sympathy was given) and I put him in the other bed. :)
And they ALL slept until:
K Bear woke up 3:30 and NEVER went back to sleep
Petey and Spidey woke up at 4:15 and NEVER went back to sleep.
Needless to say, everybody took long naps yesterday and we are all feeling much better this morning. :)
I am so happy to be there for my sister and to see her beautiful children. This "having babies" time of our lives is so exciting and it is always a wonderful thing to welcome another little baby into our family.

And that's how Suze sees it.