182

Is it sad when you get on the scale and are excited to see the numbers 182? Why yes, yes it is. But this is where I am at and I have a goal. A whopping 50 pound goal. Can I make it? Yes! Will I make it? That is the million dollar question. I am going to answer yes because I know I can do it and I know how important it is to me. But please, if you know me and ever see me, don't mention this wretched number. It is something I don't quite like hearing. I tipped the scale at 200 pounds after having my son (ok fine and after having my daughter but I was on bedrest for 2 months with her so it doesnt count! :).

And here is why I am being honest about these numbers. If I am not honest, I will forever be embarassed that I told them to you. But if I change, I could tell anyone I HAVE weighed 200 pounds before if I weigh less at the time. Does this make sense? So I'm owning up to you. I'm trying to be responsible and own up to this weight issue I've kept going since the day I got married. Did you know I weighed 130 pounds when I got married? And did you know that I thought 130 lbs was SO FAT in high school. I remember when I was going through an eating disorder and after finally gaining some weight and weighing maybe 118, I cried so hard that I was getting FAT! Oh how ridiculous that sounds right about now. Now I have the opposite of an eating disorder. :) Or just a different type of eating disorder.

For Christmas, I asked for anything to help me exercise and my loving husband got me an Ipod nano, an arm band for my Ipod, some awesome music for it, and new tires for my bike. He surely is the best.

So here we go...182...to...130...52 pounds to go!

And that's the way Suze sees it (obviously, because I see it in the mirror every morning! :)