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Sunday, December 1, 2013

I Believe in Me

Tonight must be emotional, for some reason. I turned on the computer and this image smacked me in the face with it's imperfect perfection.
I cried.
I love that it's the background of our computer. What I love even more is that they are mine for eternity.

After turning the computer on, I signed in to my school account to check on my grades. My English teacher had sent me back an essay that I thought I was struggling with and her words were so positive and encouraging. I started to cry again. She corrected two words and that was it. The rest was great in her eyes.

The thing is, school scares me. I'm a semester in and I feel like I've rocked this semester but there are 11 more semesters before I get to have my career. And I can assume that they will not all be this easy.

The thought of my classes getting harder scares me.
But the thought of dropping out of school terrifies me.
I'm where I need to be.
I need to believe in me.

I'm staring my fears down daily. The fear of failure weighs on my mind but it's a battle I have to endure so I can reach my end goal.

My goals might seem farther out there than a single mom of two can reach but I'm just going to have to show the world that it can be mastered. I'm not picking the easy way out. A bachelors and a masters degree are not the easy way out. Building up my own clients so I can have flexible work hours is not going to be the easy way out. It's going to be challenging most of the time for a long time but it will be so worth it.

I'm determined not to fail. I don't want to be that story. I don't want to lose my ambition. I want to succeed.

Succeed, I can and succeed, I will.

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