2014: Day 23

Day 23: Something that makes you feel better

So it is probably a secret to you that I haven't been dealing with life super effectively lately. And I'm serious by that. I have tried to keep it to myself because I'm sick of having my emotions be a rollercoaster. I'm hoping that this is the lowest low point and that I can soon find my way out and trust again, love myself again, and love everything about my life.

But in the meantime, while I struggle, there are many things that help me to recognize what I have and feel a little bit better but one in particular that never ceases to help me in my daily life.

I am a mother.

My children are the best part of me. I identify as a mother more than I have ever identified with something in my life. When I'm feeling down, I am reminded that they are my biggest blessing and also my biggest priority. School gets busy, filling out paper work and figuring our future out is busy, all of the extra curricular activities are busy---but my children are my priority in all of that. I'm glad that I have them and I'm even glad that they have me, even though it's hard to recognize my own worth sometimes {or a lot of the time}.

Petey is such a 'pick me up' type girl. She is really good at sensing others' feelings and she wants to help them. She reminds me of me as a kid. I was very sensitive to others feelings and wanted my friends to feel loved. She is also just like me in the fact that she craves love and attention and I am so glad I get to be there for her and give her that whenever I can.

Spidey is our jokester. Sometimes, I'll be putting myself down or feeling bad about life right now and Spidey says the WEIRDEST things. It doesn't matter what type of mood I'm in, Spidey can always make me laugh. I remember saying that about him as a baby and saying that he would be that little kid that could brighten up a room and I was right. He is exactly that. Spidey brings a lot of challenges into my life as well and I pray that I can be the mother he needs me to be.

I pray for both of my kids. I pray for anyone else who has ever felt how I feel. Feeling defeated and beat down just doesn't feel good. I know I'll bounce back. I know I can do hard things. But sometimes, hard things are harder than we expected and new challenges arise often. I take one day at a time right now and focus on the things that matter most---my family, my religion, and school.

I can do this. We can do this.