I can do hard things...

I can do hard things...but it doesn't help when people are putting me down.

This post is not just for me personally but for many people whom I know have been put down when they are seriously doing the best they can.

When I became a stay at home mom, I quickly realized that the choice I had made to stay home was not an easy one. My kids are noisy, sticky, whiny, and I had to cook and clean on top of making sure they were taken care of. I soon realized that what my mother had been doing for my children years before that were not easy tasks.

But because I have been a working mother and a stay at home mother, I know they are both hard and I know I can do hard things!

I can remember back to those first few weeks I was home with my kids. I called my mom one stressful day and asked her how the heck she kept her house clean. She gave me some tips and we hung up the phone. About 20 minutes later, my mom showed up on my doorstep with cleaning supplies that I had told her I didn't yet have and she began to help me clean my home.

Since then, my mom has even once or twice stolen my house key (technically she owns the house I live in so I can't really get mad at her) and cleaned my house while I was out and she's even tried to deny it! ha!

My mom's funny that way.

So it makes me sad when I have friends saying they feel judged for their messy homes because my mom has taught me that a messy home is completely normal with small children running around.

Now that doesn't mean I don't try and keep my house clean but seriously, we live here. I could clean all day and there are still things that would be out of place. My kids play and eat. There are going to be dirty dishes and toys out of place. I just do my best and tell myself that the most important job right now is raising my children and giving them my attention.

Ok, so I didn't mean to take so much time on the clean house rant. But alas, I did and I believe everything I said and won't be erasing any of it. :)

Many times in my life, I have felt judged in so many other ways and the worst part is, I usually feel judged for things that I am 1. trying to work on already or 2. not really all that worried about.

I am overweight. This is just a fact. But talk to any PCOS sister of mine and you'll realize that losing weight is not easy without a lot of hard work. I go to the gym at least 4 times a week and that is about it right now. Eating healthy is not high on my priority list and even though it probably should be, my choices are mine.

It's hard to hear comments about your weight from people you love and start feeling totally inadequate.

Losing weight actually falls under both of the categories above for me. I am doing some things to work on it but I also love myself and am not all that worried about the size of my body. I'm a pretty darn great person and I have enough personality to fill a bigger body like mine. :)

 Losing weight is like looking up a steep hill and asking myself if I really want to start climbing it. I take it a little bit at a time and when I make a bad eating choice, I just try again the next meal. And I try and get myself to the gym as often as possible so I can have energy to keep up with my kids.
My mind is not as much worried about what I look like as much as how I feel on the inside.
So yes, when I tell myself I can do hard things and exercise, it hurts to feel put down when I'm trying really hard to build myself up.

Slightly unrelated but still kind of related, I have seen the things my PCOS friends go through and gosh darn it, I can sit here and tell you, we really can do hard things!

I really can do hard things.

Next subject:

I am a parent.

Parenting choices are a hot subject in life because many grandmothers, aunts, or random women feel like they know exactly what is right for our children. I don't mean to sound rude, especially if you are a grandmother, aunt, or random woman who has given unsolicited advice to someone you really love but seriously, can we all just take a minute and think before we speak? I can imagine in my mind a lot of different mothers I know. All of us have at least slightly different parenting styles but that doesn't really matter to me. I can imagine these wonderful mothers and if I asked myself whether they made parenting choices because they want to raise their children the best way they can, the answer would always be yes.

  So to all of you unsolicited advice givers out there, I know you probably mean well but just think about yourself in our situation. We are doing what we believe is the best way to raise our children and honestly, no two mothers really should be parenting the exact same way...because every child is different.
Heck, I don't even parent the two children that I have the same way.
I am hard on my kids when I need to be and I make sure and build up their confidence and self esteem as often as possible. But just because I do these two things does not mean that they are the same for both of my kids.
I deal with separate issues with my children daily.
My son is a hitter so I have to find consequences for him that may not be the same as his sister's.
My daughter is a sass talker so she has different consequences than her brother.

When my children make messes, I expect them to clean it up and if they aren't capable of cleaning it up, they sure as heck are going to be right next to me learning how to clean it up. Responsibility is something I strongly believe in.
I know many parents who don't believe that a 2 and 4 year old should have chores but that's what is great about being a parent. I get to raise my kids the way I feel is best and you get to raise your kids the way you feel is best! And in the process of it all, I hope we stop judging each other's choices and realizing that we are each making these choices because we love our children.

Have I ranted enough? Because I'm not quite done yet...but don't worry, I'm getting close.

The main point of this entire blog rant is kind of what I talked about back here. No one way to live life is right.
Whether it be a clean house, the way you look, the way you parent or really any other choices you make, they are right for you! And mine are right for me.

I love diversity. I love that we have different personalities and different looks and styles and even different opinions. I wish it was easier for everyone to embrace diversity, rather than think that only their certain choices would be best for every single person in the world.

Rant over.

And that's how Suze sees it.

A Day in the Life of Spidey

Here is a glimpse into the life of our little Spidey guy.

Seriously, this kid keeps me on my toes.

Yesterday, boths kids were playing house in their room and as I was listening, I heard Petey say, "Daddy, do you need to go to the bathroom? The toilet is right here. Go peepee right here."

Of course, I ran right in there to make sure they were pretending but I was a bit too late.

 Spidey had successfully peed into the tiny little toilet that belongs to the dollhouse. That thing is maybe 2 inches tall and the opening is probably 1/4 inch wide. I just sat there and stared at it and wondered how the heck he did that. Oh goodness...

Then later that day, I had put Spidey down for a nap and he cried for a while before falling asleep but he does that sometimes so I didn't think anything of it. When I got him up from his nap, there was blood all over his hands and face. I thought maybe he had picked his nose but it was clean and then he said, "Mommy, my ear hurts." I looked at his ear and there was a lot of blood so I asked Boss to clean him up while I called the doctor's office.
Luckily they got us in quickly and after cleaning it all up, we realized Spidey's ear was cut pretty deep and the doctor also told us he has a horrible ear infection. Since his poor ear wouldn't stop bleeding, they had to Dermabond it shut (glue it).
It was a rough experience and Spidey was glad when we finally left the doctor's office to go have some dinner with family.

The only thing that kept bothering me was how the heck he cut his ear like that. The kids' room is child proofed (or so I thought). There is a bed in there and that's about it. The doctor said it could've been with his finger nails but they weren't really long.
Then last night when we put the kids in bed, Boss stepped on a piece of glass and we started finding little pieces of glass all over their floor. We asked Petey what had happened and she said the night before, Spidey had broken her little mirror by throwing it off the top bunk.
So now it all makes sense...

Oh Mr. Spidey. He is my little busy bee but I love him so much and wouldn't have it any other way. I'm so lucky to be his mom.

And that's how Suze sees it.

The Monday Brags: Hip Hop and Bible Stories

I have not done a 'Monday Brag' in a couple of weeks and after seeing my sister in law posting her brag, I realized I have some of the cutest videos to show you of my smart girly! This first one just amazes me. Yesterday at church, Petey learned the story of Daniel in the Lion's Den. We actually didn't know this until after church in the car, when she proceeded to almost perfectly recite the entire story. Sometimes it just amazes me how much of a sponge she is. If she hears a story once, she can usually retell it. So please enjoy this video of 'Daniel in the Lion's Den', as told by a 4 year old.
Then today, during Petey's hip hop class, I decided to break out the camera to show some of her cute moves.
The first video is just a quick one of her learning how to roll over from her back. I know it's not much but I just love watching how well she does in her class.
This last video is of the whole class practicing the dance they are learning for December's recital. They are just barely learning it and have only had a couple of practices so I'd actually say Petey is doing really well learning it already!
Isn't that the most adorable thing you've ever seen? I was so mad that my camera died in the end because Petey started freestyling and throwing in some of her own adorable dance moves in the end.
 
I hope you've all had a wonderful Monday!

And that's how Suze brags.

We Are Young Monkeys

Oh my monkey kids.
Today both of my kids took naps played in their room during naptime.
When I went in to get them after a while, I noticed that there were things on the floor that I had put on the top bunk a few weeks ago.
So I asked how that happened and Petey replied, "Oh, I climbed up there and got them."
In case you are wondering why that surprises me, our bunkbeds are abnormally tall and we don't have the ladder on it because we don't want the kids sleeping up there right now.
So of course, as any curious mother would, I asked Petey to show me how she climbed up there. I decided to take a video of the short heart attack she gave me as I watched her climb up there and climb back down.

Needless to say, we decided the safest thing right now is to just put the ladder on the bunk beds and see what happens. I HATE that their floor is tiled but we layed down tons of pillows and their mini couches and bean bags so hopefully, if anyone fell they wouldn't get too hurt. Actually, hopefully noone falls off. Ever.

Now onto the really funny, cute, adorable, hilarious video from tonight. My kids really love to sing the song "We Are Young" when it comes on my iPod. So before we put the kids to bed tonight, we turned it on and had a family singing session! :)

Seriously, though, my kids are so adorable...

And that's how Suze sees it.

Saturday Randoms and The Giant Haboob

We had a fun filled Saturday this week.

For being a mom who usually takes pictures almost every single day, I really haven't been pulling my camera out that much lately.

It makes me sad when I look in Picasa and don't see very many recent pictures.

And I know I still probably take more pictures than the average person but it's not what I'm used to.

I just love being able to look through my albums and remember so many memories, since I actually have a horrible memory and sometimes can't remember what I did yesterday.

Anyway...here's our Saturday in pictures.

 I was looking for Spidey in the morning and when I "found" him, I had to go grab the camera before I let him know I found him.

 He loves hiding and thinks it's so funny when we finally find him in these silly, creative places.

 For breakfast on Saturday, the kids and I headed to our church for a pancake breakfast to celebrate Pioneer Day (which is actually July 24th). Petey had fun dressing up in her special dress from Nana and she made that fun vest at one of the crafts but Spidey was more into the activities that involved bows/arrows and playing other games that pioneer children played. :) It was a really fun morning but their poor daddy hadn't slept well the night before so he stayed home.

 We had a leisure morning and lunch and then it was time for Spidey's nap. Petey was playing all by herself in the playroom and I took the camera in to snap a couple gorgeous pictures of her. I really do love dressing her up but I also love getting pictures of her just naturally being beautiful. I love the little girl hair in the face and I love those big blue eyes.

 She played with this toy for a really long time and I was so proud of her for honoring "quiet time" while Spidey was sleeping.

 That afternoon, we headed to my parents house for a cookout and swimming. My mom bought this Twister towel and Petey did amazing at playing the game correctly. I'm so happy that she knows left and right and she's pretty flexible and was doing all sorts of crazy moves.

Then we went swimming, which was super fun but I never took any pictures because I was too busy playing! About 30 minutes into our swimming fun, someone looked over the fence and too our surprise, this is what we saw...

 It seriously looked freaky! It was just this huge cloud of dust coming pretty fast toward the house. We rushed the kids inside and I stayed out to take a couple more pictures. :)

 It got closer and closer...

 ...and bigger...

 ...and even bigger...

 ...and yes, seriously bigger...

...until it finally got to us. I got this last picture and I love how it shows all of the dust particles that were coming at us so fast. I accidentally opened my eyes toward the dust storm and it burned! I could feel the tiny pieces of dust hitting my eyes. Ouch! Ouch! Ouch!

The kids actually had a ton of fun watching through the window and luckily, after the cloud of dust had passed, it rained really hard for probably an hour.

I am so glad we get to enjoy time with family and time alone in our own home. We really are so blessed with so many things and it is nice to be able to remember all of the fun times we have together.

And that's how Suze sees it.

Proud Mommy Moments: Funny Phrases

Today I am linking up with Emmy Mom to post my Proud Mommy Moments.

I've been feeling lately like my kids are always saying something funny and I keep forgetting to write it all down! I used to be so good about doing that and I haven't done it in so long.

 Petey, age 4:
Me: "Spidey, please go pick up your toys."
Spidey: "I cant..."
Petey: "You have fingers and hands. Go pick up your toys!"

"How does a duck fly? They just wing it!" (She got this from WordWorld but it's more hilarious when she says it because she giggles the whole time and thinks it is the most hilarious thing.)

Talking to her little friend, "I'm 4 now because I have had 2 birthdays." (Hopefully math isn't a problem later in life...)
Me: "You're my little snuggle bunny."
Petey: "Mom, you're my big snuggle cow."
Thanks???

"Mom, 'Spidey' has dots like me! That means he is a big boy now!" She was referring to the freckles on his face (You can see them in the picture below). When she turned 4, she literally had 4 freckles on her arm and she was convinced she would get one with each birthday. Since then, she has gotten many more so that didn't really come true but it is still a cute thought. Now she thinks anyone with "dots" is a big kid. :)

Yesterday, I asked, "Do you want to go get pokes right now and get a treat or wait and maybe not get any pokes?"
Petey: "I want the pokes now because I want ice cream."
Me: "You would choose getting your blood drawn if it means getting ice cream after."
Petey: "Yes. I just like ice cream!"
And that is literally what happened. We were maybe going to wait on blood work but since she wanted it, we decided to go ahead just to be safe and make sure she has no issues. She hardly even cried and as soon as I reminded her about pink ice cream with pink sprinkles, she startd laughing during the blood draw. She is such a silly girl.

Spidey, age 2.5:

One of his favorite phrases is, "I cant...", said in a very solemn voice.

Other favorite phrases:

"Howee cwap!"

"Mom, listen to me!"

"Stop doing dat!"

As you can see from the last two phrases, Spidey is very bossy.

I wish I could think of more funny things that Spidey says because he literally makes us laugh all the time! For some reason, my mind is blank but I'll try to be better about writing down the funny things that are said in our home.

Thanks for letting me participate, Emmy!

And that's how Suze sees it. 

Perspective: Revisiting My Yearly Goals

I am not a super mom.

I don't sit down and play with my children as often as I should.

But I am trying.

 (Don't you love how they have the EXACT same nose that scrunches the EXACT same way?)

I have been wanting to do a mid-year goals post so that I can stay accountable to my New Years Goals that I made at the beginning of the year. I don't see the point of making goals if I'm not going to reread them and stick to them year round so I have been faithfully trying to make myself a little better and I am actually succeeding!

The words I am focusing on this year are organize and prioritize. If you read my blog consistently then you've seen some of the organizing work we've done. It has been really hard because I hate cleaning(!) but I'm really almost done organizing my entire home. I just need to tackle our closet and we need to finish the garage.
My priorities have been in and out of check. I've focused a lot more on my children and a lot less on getting pregnant and that has helped me to appreciate what I have. But I still have rough days and I know I need to have more gratitude.
As far as attending the temple monthly, I got the first four months of the year done and then completely forgot about my goal until this week! Time really does fly by and I can't believe it's already July. So Boss and I made plans to go this weekend to get back on track.

 One of my goals that wasn't really posted has been to make more time for my kids. I guess this could go along with prioritizing and appreciating them. I've tried really hard to sit down and play with my kids and read more books to them.

 I really don't succeed in that department and it actually takes a lot for me to stop doing what I'm doing and just play dollhouse with the kids but when I do, we have so much fun!

 I can tell by the looks on their faces that my kids appreciate me playing at their level with them.

 Getting down to their level gives me so much perspective on my kids and what their lives are like. As much as I struggle, I want to be a hands on mother and lately, my goal has been to spend 30 minutes just doing whatever my kids want each day. Eventually, I hope to make that time even longer.
I want my kids to have memories with me. I don't want memories to just be fun trips or special things we've done. I want memories to be every day things that their mom did with them.

I want them to have that perspective that I do when I am with them. I love my children so much. I stay home because I want to be their number one teacher and cheerleader. I want them to always know that their mom is here for them and not just in the other room on the computer and too busy to pay attention to them.

As much as I need them, I know they need me too.

And that's how Suze sees it.