Adventure

I am a free spirit.
I am adventurous.
And yet, I am a wimp.
???
I was the first out of my sisters to get kissed...and out of the 4, I am the youngest. Does that make me adventurous? I don't necessarily think so but it sure made me different.
I was the only child that rebelled enough to get sent to ANASAZI (refer to www.anasazi.org). Do you know what that is? Well, I used to call it the "Camp for Bad Kids" but in a nutshell, I was sent into the middle of NOWHERE (and truly, I'm talking about the middle of the desert) for 6 weeks to figure out my life, with the help of great counsellors and leaders. Seriously...I lived off of the land. And if you think they gave us a break, you're wrong. I hiked over 20 miles a week(not on a trail...I'm talking sometimes rock climbing here), carried my bed/food/clothes on my back, and ate stuff that as a picky eater, I was NOT ok with. Trust me when I say it was an experience I will never forget. And I didnt hate it. I LOVED it. So there I went off on a tangent when that wasn't what this post is about.
When I was little, I was a firecracker, much like my daughter is now. Who am I kidding, I'm still a firecracker. I liked to rebel, be different, do what I thought was adventurous and yet, I can't handle scary movies. Sometimes, I cant even handle thunder. Shh!
Did you know that I kissed my husband before he kissed me? Yeah...I did. In high school, that's something I probably wouldnt have done because I had zero confidence but apparently, when you're in love, you do crazy things.
And yet, I'm afraid of the dark.
I once went spelunking for senior ditch day.
And yet, I'm semi-claustrophobic and thought I was going to die the whole time.
I hate that I have to have c sections and yet, giving birth actually freaks me out. I'll admit, when they told me I'd be having an emergency c section with my daughter, I was somewhat relieved because it meant I didn't have to push a baby out of you know where.
I've lived an oxymoron life.
And though I complain and am not always satisfied, I truly am proud of my life and the things I've accomplished and the things I fear. It makes me who I am.