The Porn Pandemic: Part 1

When I was younger and the internet became a thing, I remember listening to warnings from my church leaders about pornography and how evil it was.

Pornography was bad---I knew that. In fact, that's all I knew. I had no idea how harmful pornography actually could be. And at the time, I don't think many people did.

We didn't understand pornography because before the internet, it took a lot more work to find it. It took actually leaving your house and going to a video store or finding a magazine. It wasn't available in the same magnitude as is now available.

Because of the internet, pornography is available in your home, on the electronic devices you use, and on the electronic devices your children use---but there is hope. There are protections you can take to keep your home a safe haven for your families. But let's save that discussion for another day.

Today, I want to focus on why pornography harms.

In mainstream media, pornography is portrayed as normal, healthy, and fun. How often do we hear about the other side of pornography, the side that states pornography causes real addiction and harms relationships?

Fight the New Drug states that pornography harms in 3 ways: the brain, relationships, and society.
So today, let's talk about the brain.

Researchers used to think that addiction was caused solely by outside substances that are physically put into a person's body {drugs, alcohol, cigarettes, etc}.

"Once we got a peek into the brain, however, our understanding of how addictions work changed. It turns out, cigarettes, alcohol, and drugs have more in common than you might think. Sure, on the outside, some are poured into a glass while others are lit on fire and smoked. But once they’re in the body, they all do the same thing to the brain: flood it with a chemical called dopamine. That’s what makes them addictive. And porn does the exact same thing." source

Pornography causes the "reward pathways" in the brain to react, in the same way cocaine does. And as you probably know with addiction, things don't get better before they get worse. People with addiction often consume more and more because they feel like they need it. They have to have it.

"Setting your brain up for an overload of feel-good chemicals might sound like a good idea at first, but just like with junk food, what feels like a good thing, in this case isn’t at all. Because porn use floods the brain with high chemical levels, the brain starts to fight back. Over time, the brain will actually cut down on its dopamine receptors—the tiny landing docs that take the dopamine in once it’s been released in your brain. As a result, porn that once excited a person often stops having the same effect, and the user has to look at more porn, look at porn more often, or find a more hardcore version—or all three—to get aroused." source

Scary. That is the first word that comes to mind when I read the above quote.

Think about a fully developed brian on porn and then think about the damaging effects that pornography can have on the developing brain of a teenager. The damage is different. The brain develops in a different way when an undeveloped brain is exposed to pornography.

"...for teens, the risks are especially high, since a teen brain’s reward pathway has a response two to four times more powerful than an adult brain—which means teen brains release even higher levels of dopamine." source

SCARY.

The effects pornography has on the brain cause addiction.
Addiction is a hard thing to overcome.
But in case you were wondering or feeling hopeless right about now, addiction is possible to overcome. Resources are available. Help is available.

Hope is available.

If you are as worried as I am about how readily pornography is available to our society, help me take a stand against it.
Join the Street Team.
Learn how to keep your home safe.
And talk.
Talk with others about how harmful pornography is. Stand up against the pornification in our society.
Watching pornography is not the norm and even if it was, it is still harmful. It is still ruining relationships and brain development and societal views.

Keep the conversations going about how harmful pornography can be. Keep speaking up about why this is NOT OK.

Fight with me, friends.
Fight the new drug.

Will you fight with me?

Life lessons before, during, and after trials can be really hard. Often while learning these lessons, I go through periods of isolation, regret, anxiety, and depression. I question myself over and over and over again. I choose things I know aren't right and I feel like I'm drowning.

When this happens, I often wonder how I'm ever going to be the same. I ache for the old Suzanne and the bubble she lived in. I wonder if my heart will ever love the way it did.

And I've learned that I'm never the same after these lessons. My bubble is broken. My heart will never love the way that it used to.

Because I've grown so much from my life lessons.

I've learned that my bubble of "safety" isn't reality. I've learned that reality can be beautiful. And I love deeper than ever before. I love unconditionally. I don't judge the way I used to. I see worth in the people I meet.

Life lessons are hard---beautifully hard.

This has been a rollercoaster of learning. I have felt lower than ever before. I have felt higher than ever before. I have felt abandoned and I have abandoned others. I have ruined relationships and fixed relationships.

I've mentioned "things getting real" a few months ago. I've mentioned the pain and the questions.
A few months ago, I was in a bad place. Not only was I questioning my worth and struggling to even stay afloat, I had lost my faith. It was scary, questioning something I've never really questioned before. I didn't want to go back to church. I felt alone. I felt abandoned by God. I couldn't feel Him the way I usually feel Him and I was afraid.

I had a rally of support as I went into survival mode for a while. Friends were calling and visiting and sending messages of hope every day. When talking to one of these friends on the phone and telling her my faith struggles, she told me, "Suzanne, hold on to what you know." and immediately, my memory triggered a conversation where I had been helping someone during their own faith crisis months ago. I was bearing my testimony to them and explaining that sometimes survival mode makes it hard to physically feel the Spirit. Because our bodies are working overtime to just stay afloat, it is possible to not feel God even when He has His arms wrapped around us. But once we are out of survival mode, it can be easy to look back and point out all of the times He was right by our side.

I have learned that and wholeheartedly believe it. My faith crisis, although very short lived, brought me to a better understanding of how much my Heavenly Father loves me. He sent others to get through to me when I could not feel Him on my own. He made sure that even though I questioned Him, I was taken care of. He didn't get offended and abandon me. He loved me unconditionally.

Life can be so scary. I have felt afraid of the future more in the last 9 months than ever before. I didn't believe I was worthy of love. But I have trudged forward, knowing that faith in myself is possible. I've had it before and I could have it again.

This week is the first time I have felt it in a long time. I have felt worthy of love. I have been able to analyze who I am and believe the good instead of focusing on my weaknesses. I have been ready to make changes I wasn't ready to make before.

My drowning has turned into choppy butterfly strokes---they aren't perfect but today I am not drowning.

I have been hoping for the day that I could feel strong enough to fight for myself and my children and my beliefs. I have been hoping for the day that I could stand on my own two feet and declare without a doubt that I am going to do everything I can to stand against the harmful things so present in our world today.
I can no longer fight for my marriage but I sure as heck plan on fighting pornography and body image portrayals because those things are NOT reality---and I'm all about doses of reality these days.

Spunky Suzanne is back and I've missed her. I've been lacking the confidence that it takes for me to fight and believe in my ability to make a difference. I've always been a "world changer" at heart but I've never had the confidence and the ability to actually be a world changer but since growing up---because I am such a grown up these days--- I have learned that changing the world hardly ever starts with something big and drastic. It starts within your heart.

Our world is full of so much evil right now and it is going to take an army to fight against the evils that are constantly parading around as fun or exciting or healthy. These are lies. Evil always lies. We need to stand together and fight the newest drug that is such an issue in our society---the drug that is affecting children at an average age of 11.

Will you fight with me?