2014: Day 2

 My Firstborn:
{Sorry, I'm already a date late on Day 2. I started writing this yesterday but then I got a migraine and couldn't go near the computer screen.}

Becoming a mom was something I always knew I wanted to do. There was no if, only a when. So when I saw that positive pregnancy test 4 short weeks after getting married, I could hardly contain my excitement. And then 8 weeks after that, I was devastated when I miscarried.

We found out we were pregnant the second time around about 5 months after we got married. This time, the excitement was at a minimum because I was scared.

On New Year's Eve SIX years ago, we had an ultrasound confirming what I already knew---we were having a baby girl. She was the first granddaughter on my side of the family and we were all excited.

On April 1st of 2008, I was put on bedrest for pre-eclampsia. I was only 30 weeks pregnant and was worried about this fiesty little girl coming early.

Six weeks after that, she was born. Only 5 pounds even. I hold babies that are bigger than that and can't even fathom that she was ever that tiny.

Petey is my best friend. Ever since she was tiny, I have loved dolling her up. I started making her bows when she was 6 months old and started making necklaces when she was 3.

 Petey is very trusting and we are really close. I know how to handle her personality because it is a lot like mine.

 Petey was born a firecracker. She spent the majority of her first 9 months crying. She walked at 13 months and started talking really early. She's always been very bright and grasps things really quickly.

 Petey has always loved to dance. She took her first dance class at age 3 and is now on a dance team at age 5 1/2. She loves when it's a "dance day". She practices at home constantly. In the past few months she has taught herself front limbers, back bends, tummy rolls, among many other things. Of course, she learns the basics of these in class but she will come home and make sure she learns them and practices on her own.

 Petey is also really goofy. She can make me laugh so hard sometimes.

 She is really helpful and loves to cook. Grandma has made bread with her many times and Petey soaks it all in and loves that special time with her Grandma.

 You already know this but Petey has piercing blue eyes. They are bluer than any other eyes I've ever seen. They fit her perfectly. She has always had a clear and powerful disposition. She is caring and kind. She loves everyone.

 On the other hand, she is nuts. :) She is so crazy sometimes and makes the funniest faces.

 She's been obsessed with make up since birth. She used to get into my lipstick all of the time!

 Petey has always been miniature. :) We are used to it now but it was so weird when she was little and her cousin started becoming her same size. He's 18 months younger and now he's a little bigger than her. We just make 'em tiny around here.

 Petey has always been an extremely good helper to me. She helps me cook, clean, and take care of her little brother.
Last night, I had a migraine and threw up twice. I was in bed at 8:30 and my kids were up playing. I called Petey in and told her I was sick and her reaction was, "What can I do to help you, mom?" I asked her to get her brother all ready for bed and go to bed. Next thing I knew, it was 1am and my headache was gone so I got up to make sure the kids had made it to bed safely. I walked into Spidey's room and there they were, dressed in pajamas, snuggling up next to each other and sleeping. I'm so proud of my big helper.

 Petey wears her heart on her sleeve. It's one of the reasons it has been hard to watch her through the last few months of trials. She cries more often, is angry more often, but is also more loving than ever before. Her emotions are tripled right now and I hope I'm able to help her through her hard times.

I could go on and on about this sweet girl. She is amazing. Sometimes, I just can't even believe that I really get to be her mom forever and ever. I feel extremely lucky because she teaches me every day. She is my best friend and I love her so much.

2014: Day 1

Happy New Year! It is officially January 1st, 2014.

2014 has a lot of meaning to me. It is a year of new beginnings. It is my first year being single in almost 8 years. There are a lot of fears that come with this new year.

So many words have been swirling through my head this past month. I chose faith as my word for 2013 and it ended up being the perfect word. I was almost tempted to choose it again but I decided to start with something new.

2013 was one of the most challenging and blessed years I have ever experienced.
It was the year I chose faith over fear and made some really hard decisions.
It was the year I overcame some of my biggest obstacles.
It was the year I saw a counselor probably 42 out of 52 weeks---and I couldn't be more grateful for that.
It was the year I learned how to really serve.
It was the year I was strong enough to handle 5 family pregnancy announcements and learn how to be happy for others, even when I was silently aching.
It was the year my firstborn started kindergarten!
It was also the year she started dance team.
It was the year both of my children learned how to ride two wheeler bikes.
It was the year I completed my first semester back to school---successfully!

And yes, it was the year we filed for divorce. But that's ok because I have faith. We are both respectful people and I'm lucky to be in the current situation that I'm in. I know that's hard for people who aren't me to understand but just know that we know we are blessed no matter what.

My goal for January of 2014 is to follow a 30-day writing challenge. Today's challenge was just to introduce myself. So if you are a new reader or if you just want to learn some new things about me I'll try to put some unique stats in here for you all to enjoy.

You probably know the first and foremost thing I would do when introducing myself---

---I am a mother of two. In 2014, my kids will be 6 and 5 and that just scares the living daylights outta me!

I was a dancer in my growing up years. I also played basketball as a kid---you know, until they realized I was too short. {Just kidding}
In high school, I did many different things including color guard, winterguard, dance team, concert choir, jazz choir, and I even took ice skating lessons for a little while.

I played the flute in elementary school and junior high and I took piano and voice lessons for years.

I graduated in 2006, got married in 2007, had Petey in 2008, had Spidey in 2009, was diagnosed with infertility in 2011, and we separated in 2013. Seriously. It has been a whirlwind of years since my graduation from high school. But at least it looks like we're moving on to big changes every two years instead of every year, right?

I am LDS. You'll hear more about that on one of my other writing days.

I am currently in school to become a marriage and family therapist and I am fearful and excited for the years ahead of me.

I've lived in 3 different places my entire life---all within 15 minutes of each other. The first was my house growing up, the second was the apartment we lived in for 10 months after getting married, and the third is the house I currently live in and we've now lived here for 6 years {minus two months}. Can you see how much I'm not a fan of change? Maybe someday I'll be more adventurous and move 30 minutes away. ;)

I have ten thousand sarcastic bones in my body.

And I also love to make others laugh---with me, not at me.


Ok, so have you heard enough? I think that's about all I have for today.

Wait, what? You are wondering what my 2014 word is? Oh yeah---I forgot.


2014 is definitely a year of new beginnings. It is a year I find myself again and reclaim a separate identity from married life, from mommy life, etc. It is the year I learn to be brave.

Bravery might seem like one of my strengths because it's easier to be brave when I'm surrounded by people that buoy me up. But I want to learn bravery on a whole new level this year.

I want to be brave enough to push forward in school.
I want to be brave enough to be alone.
I want to be brave enough to push past my comfort zone.
I want to be brave enough to share my testimony.
I want to be brave enough to serve in any situation.

So this year, I will focus on being brave.

Here's to 2014. I pray this year is full of miracles, happiness, and strength for all of you.