Often times, I get caught up in my "stay at home mom duties" and forget that the whole reason I am a stay at home mom is because of my kids. Without them, I'd be working right now. I'm trying to remember that a clean house isn't as important as happy children. I want my kids to want to be home with me. I want them to remember me being with them.
I'm coming to the point in my situation where I'm thinking we may always be a family of 4. There are days that I don't feel ok with that but most days, I just feel so content and happy with the life I already have. I'm excited for my kids to learn and grow. I'm excited that Petey is learning to read and that she wants to try out for dance team. I'm excited to see what sport Spidey likes best when we decide what we are doing for him in August. I'm even a little bit excited that Petey is starting kindergarten this year...but mostly that just stresses me out. I can't imagine a more fulfilling life than the one we are living right now and yet, if we are blessed with more children, I'll be ecstatic.
I'm learning that my life isn't going to be what I always dreamed it would be...it's going to be better. Only God knows what is best for us and no matter what my dreams are, my realities are my blessings from Him. He makes my true dreams come true; sometimes, dreams I didn't even know I had.
People often say that God works in mysterious ways and I agree. Two years ago, I hated infertility. I may never say that I love it but at this point, I can honestly say that I'm grateful for the things that God has taught me through my infertility and I wouldn't change it if given the option. The lessons I've learned are far too valuable for my spiritual well being and I am thankful that God is patient while I try and learn all that He is teaching me. Slowly, I'm getting there.
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