Saturday, November 23, 2013

It's a Good Day

As you've read, if you've been reading lately, life hasn't been easy. And yet, it has. It's difficult to explain.
There are good days and there are days where I have to force myself to recognize the good---but every day has the potential to possess some type of good in it so I choose to find it.

Most of my heartache is for my children. None of these decisions are fair to them. It isn't fair that they have to take turns with mom or dad. It isn't fair that they don't get bedtime kisses from both of us. I was so angry in the beginning because of the unfairness that this new life will put on my kids.

They are strong and brave but they are still just kids. They didn't make a single one of these choices but they have to live their entire lives being reminded of them. Everyone tells me they'll be fine. Quite honestly, I firmly believe they will be fine. But in the meantime, I can't take away every ounce of pain that they feel or will feel or have felt. This is a learning experience for all of us and it will take time to get used to. And I know there will be times when we think we have learned but we have to re-learn all over again.
I have to give myself daily goals because sometimes, my brain cannot focus on any more than that. One of my daily goals is to find a way to have a good day. It seems simple but sometimes it's extremely hard. I'm a naturally positive person and it has been hard to find happy things to focus on. I struggle every day.
When we went to Time Out for Women last month {you're going to have to scroll down on the blog because I'm too lazy to find the link and post it}, my mom gave us all an early Christmas present. It was the newest Hilary Weeks cd. At first, I wasn't sure. You see, I am a bit obsessed with the last Hilary Weeks cd my mom gave me because of the Beautiful Heartbreak song. It has been a favorite. That song helped me through infertility and many things going on in my marriage. It was a song I listened to daily for a while.
I wasn't sure it would be possible to find another song like that for our current situation.
But Hilary did it{Did you know we're on a first name basis these days?}. She just went ahead and wrote another song that happened to be just what I need right now.
Not only was it what I need, it is what my kids need. And they request it every morning on our drive to take Petey to school.
Sometimes, when I'm having a hard time recognizing the good in my day, the lyrics to the song will pop into my head and remind me that "I'm alive and I'm breathing---so it's a good day!".
If I could speak to Hilary Weeks, there are so many things I'd tell her about how her music has changed my life. On that same note, I wouldn't even have either cd if it wasn't for my mother who loves and supports me so dearly.

I am seriously so blessed.

I know God gives me challenges for a reason.
I also know He makes sure I am surrounded with the people, places, things, AND music I need when I'm going through challenging times.

I'm just going to let my kids go ahead and introduce you to our new favorite song. I have a hard time not crying when I watch this video because I look at my children and their positive, brave attitudes and I am so thankful that they are so strong. We'll get through this ---that I do not doubt.


Nancy Osborne said...

Oh my goodness! I am obsessed with this song as well! I listen to it every single day on my way to seriously has gotten me through some days myself. Love you Suz! You are doing a fantastic job!

Nancy Osborne said...

Ok, That said it was Nancy My mom was logged in to my computer (that tricky mother of mine)It's really Amber Campos :)