Wednesday, January 30, 2013

My Big Little Girl

There is so much to say about my big, little girl, Petey. In her 4 1/2 years of life, this little girl has been the perfect 'first child'. She is so helpful and seems to always be there when I need an extra hand. She is also sweet and doesn't like it when people are sad.
For example, lately whenever I ask her to do something, she replies with, "Yes, ma'am."
I keep wondering who taught her to talk like that!

Obviously, she has her moments. I'm not trying to say that my little girl is perfect but I am beyond grateful for her sweet moments.

Speaking of her growing up, a couple of weeks ago she wanted to ride her bike to the park but I had Spidey and he can't ride a bike yet so I thought of a different plan.
Yes, that's my girl, riding her bike by herself home from the park. She was nervous at first and cried for a bit when I told her we'd be driving but I assured her she would be fine.
Spidey loved watching her from the car and cheering her on. {On a side note, isn't it freaking awesome that the middle windows on my new van roll down?}

Also, this morning, I had just finished making my breakfast when the little baby I watch decided he needed to eat. I was trying to hurry up and finish when Petey came up to me and said, "Mom, don't worry about it. I'll feed him for you." And she did. {Have I mentioned how much I hope we have more babies? Her helpfulness is making me want one even more!}

As a last little bragging note, Petey has been learning to sound out words recently. I am having a hard time believing one of my babies is old enough for such a thing but she is doing it so well. We work a little on it each day and I love seeing the lightbulb go off in her head when she realizes the word she's trying to sound out. It makes me such a proud mom to see her learning and doing new things.

Have I mentioned how much I love that little girl? Well, I do. She is one of a kind.

And that's how Suze brags.

Friday, January 25, 2013

Friends are like chocolate chips

Tonight, I'm thankful for friends. I am thankful that I have so many of them in my life and that my daughter is starting to have some close ones of her own.

I've been blessed this past year in the friend department. I went from thinking I had friends, to having no friends at all, to meeting some amazing people and creating more friendships than I've had since high school. I know to some of you it would seem silly that I would be this thankful for friends. Maybe you've had the same friends since kindergarten, junior high, or high school but that hasn't really been the case for me. Sure, I keep in touch with some of my friends from those days but that isn't the same thing as having a close friend.

When I got married, it was really hard trying to figure out where I fit in. None of my friends were married and most were in college having fun with new roommates. I felt like I had missed out on an important part of growing up and it was difficult to figure out where I fit in with the 'old, married people'. For probably 4 years, I didn't have anyone besides family that I considered close friends. I didn't really realize what I was missing out on until recently, when I realized how amazing it is to have friends who are almost always there when I need someone to talk to or need a break from my kids.

My mom used to have this quote on our fridge that said "In the cookies of life, good friends are the chocolate chips."

That quote really says it all. My friends are the icing on top to my already great life. I am so very thankful to a God that knows what I need more than I do. I trust who He places in my life because He knows me better than I know myself.

And that's how Suze sees it.

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

2 trials, 20,000 blessings

Sometimes, I'm just so overwhelmed with how wonderful my life is. I count 2 trials and 20,000 blessings. This month was a hard one and it's ok to admit that sometimes, those 2 trials are really hard to deal with. But I'm certainly thankful that I can have days like today when I get emotional over how much good happens in my life.
I'm surrounded by so many amazing people. Both Boss and I have big families and we have so much support. I have more friends than I've had since we got married. There are so many people I can count on. I am so grateful for my life.

I want a lot of things but what I already have is so good. So I love my life.

And that's how Suze sees it.

Friday, January 18, 2013

Isn't this enough?

Sometimes I wonder why I still get sad about infertility. Isnt this enough? There is so much I already have. I hate getting upset about wanting more.

But today has been hard. Some days are and most days aren't. I get angry that my body isn't able to do something that it used to do so easily. I dream about the pregnancy tests being positive instead of all of the negatives I've received in the past 21 months.

I'm sick of thinking about the ways we are going to tell our families or the adorable baby names we may never get to use. I'm sick of everyone around me being pregnant and not even understanding that it isn't always that easy. I'm also sick of being angry at all that others are pregnant. It is so selfish of me. I'm sick of feeling like none of my personal friends or family understand what I'm going through. I'm sick of feeling like everyone around me thinks that with more time, I'll just stop feeling this way. I'm sick of dreaming about having a baby that I'll get to stay home with full time and not have someone else raise them. I'm sick of posts like these. They may not be as often but I'm just so sick of feeling this way. I do not want to hit the 2 year mark! I didn't expect it to take this long and I'm honestly just surprised that we are almost to that milestone. How can it be 2 years?

Mostly, I'm just sick of not feeling like that above picture is enough. I know it's enough. I know it's a great blessing. Why can't I feel like that every day? Why are there days that I get angry or sad or frustrated? I want this to be over. I want to always remember my blessings instead of feeling weighed down by infertility.

I have so much. It needs to be enough. I just don't know if time heals that or if I need to work harder to make that my reality. Two kids are a blessings. Especially two well-behaved, mostly polite, ridiculously cute, loving kids.

Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Random Wedding Thoughts

 Remember that one time when my main squeeze was in a wedding? Yes, that would be the same wedding where  I gave my son alcohol. {PS: The video at the end of that blog post almost had me in tears a minute ago...I love my children!!!}
Well, we had a great time. We love weddings. Weddings are fun.

Speaking of weddings, remember when Boss' brother got married an entire year ago? {How has it been that long?}
At that wedding, I captured my favorite picture to date of my niece, Miss B. Seriously, that girl is gorgeous.
Well, that would be the last wedding in our family until now. Petey remembers 'Uncle Fatty's' wedding and when I told her Uncle Aaron was getting married in February, she said, "What, so Uncle Fatty didn't want to get married again? Whatever..."
I don't think she quite understands that the goal is to only get married once. We'll work on teaching her that.
You thought I had some big post about weddings or a particular wedding coming up, didn't you?
Well, I don't. I really just wanted to share that funny comment that my girl said today.
But alas, I'll give you something else to laugh about tonight.
At church on Sunday, I was talking to my kids about Jesus during the sacrament and I said, "Spidey, what did Jesus do for you?"
His reply, "He punched me in the face."
I guess we have a lot of teaching to do around here.
PS: My favorite thing about Spidey right now is that instead of saying, "That's a girl baby!" or "That girl is running.", he says, "That's a princess baby!" or "That princess is running." He also calls me a princess throughout the day. It's just about the sweetest thing!

Monday, January 14, 2013

Mommy Time

Last night was just weird. I fell asleep at 8:30pm and when I turned over for the first time in the "middle of the night", it was 11:30pm, which is the time I usually go to sleep. I then ended up wide awake at 4am but forced myself to go back to sleep until 7am.
Also, to add to the weirdness, I had a dream that I had accidentally made the Olympic gymnastics team. The accident was that I did super awesome in try outs but when it came to the Olympics, I realized I didn't even know how to tumble. I kept apologizing to Makayla Maroney (not kidding...) and telling her I didn't mean to make myself a part of their team. It was an accident!
I know, I know, you don't care about my sleeping habits. But it was just so weird. And funny. But mostly weird.

Anyway, we had the greatest weekend. I hope yours was amazing as well but if not, you can enjoy the photos from mine.

Boss is kind of really amazing and offered to take the kids for 4 hours instead of the normal 2 he takes them every Saturday, while I do whatever I want {within reason}.

So I took off and ended up here...
 On a dirt road, somewhere East of where we live. It was beautiful and cold. I took a notebook and just had time to reflect on my life and how wonderful it is.
 After that and a trip to Bed, Bath, and Beyond, I came home to a delicious meal of parmesan chicken. Boss says the kids made almost everything for the meal, he just cooked it all. I was really impressed! It was such a wonderful morning and it made me so grateful for this wonderful husband/father in our lives.
After that, we all hung out on the couch and for some reason, my camera was out taking pictures of our craziness.
Every time I would take a picture, Spidey would ask to look at it and then want to take another one. He is so funny.

Boss left for a while to go work on his truck at a friend's house and I surprised him by actually cooking dinner. That's only slightly sarcastic...I don't cook often enough.
Just look at this picture of the tortilla soup I made is making me want to have it again! It was one of the most delicious meals I've made. It tastes so similiar to the tortilla soup I grew up with! If you'd like the recipe, here it is. It was amazing. The only change I'm going to make next time I cook it is not adding any serrano peppers (it was too spicy for my kids) and not marinating the chicken in lime juice ahead of time. I like lime...but not that much. Other than that, this recipe was perfect!

Hope everyone has a fabulous week! I plan to be more productive and grateful this week. There really is always something good in life to look forward to.

Friday, January 11, 2013

I can do hard things

 I always thought I was a patient person when Petey was a little girl. She hardly ever got into trouble and when she did, I felt like I could keep my cool easier. I don't know if the hardships we've faced this past year have made a difference but I've found myself with less patience as these two munchkins have grown. I feel like a completely different person than the mother Petey had as a small toddler. So many things have changed since then, some good and some bad.

I've learned that the OCD my mom's side of the family passed on to me isn't always as funny as it used to be. I've learned that I like to be in control...and I prefer that all of the time. I've also learned that I'm hardly ever in control and that I have to get used to that. I've learned that my children need a mom who sits on the floor and plays Candyland and Chutes and Ladders. I've learned that dance parties and "freeze dance" are two of the most fun things to do with young children. I've learned that God's timing is more important than mine.

Most importantly, I've learned that I can do hard things.

A year ago, I wouldn't have imagined being strong enough to handle a year like last year but now that it's over and a new year has begun, I know I can handle anything.
And while I'm out handling this incredible life God has blessed me with, I know there are 3 people that I can always count on to lift me up.
Because pretending to be a horsy and dancing around til we're all out of breath has turned out to be the best medicine for trials. I'm lucky to have people who keep me sane when I'm just plain outta my mind. Or maybe they're just crazy with me...

Wednesday, January 9, 2013

Short and Sweet

I find it absolutely, positively comforting to know that this man is mine forever. I realize that not very many things matter in the world besides this fact. Sometimes it frustrates me that there are people that I will probably never get along with that well. I really have a hard time knowing there are people out there who think I'm annoying or even mean. But it is so nice to know that this man is always by my side, no matter who likes me or doesn't.
He will always like me.
The End.

Friday, January 4, 2013

New Years at the Cabin

 This past Monday, the kiddos and I headed up to my parents' cabin to spend New Years with everyone. Unfortunatly, Boss worked Monday so we missed having him there but it was still a fun day.

We headed out at 6am to make it in time for breakfast with everyone which ended up being a bad idea. As soon as I started driving through the mountains, we hit a thick patch of fog AND it started snowing really hard. My sisters claim that it's too dramatic to call what I drove through a blizzard so we decided the better word is vortex. The snow was coming right at my windshield and we ended up driving 25 mph through the mountains because nothing was plowed and the roads were covered in snow. SCARY!!!

But as you can tell from the fact that I am here writing this story, we lived through this event and made it in time for breakfast.
The kids were really excited to see their cousins and even though this picture has horrible quality, I had to add it. They all rode around on that fire truck throughout the day and loved it.

After breakfast, the plan was to head up to the rim to play in the snow but since it had snowed more than I've ever seen at the cabin, we decided the kids would have just as much fun playing outside around the cabin.

 Spidey was enthralled with the "no", which on an unrelated note made us all realize he has a hard time pronouncing "s" if a consonant is the next letter in the word.
For example: snow "no", scared "cared", stop "top", spot "pot".
The funniest part is that my child who is OBSESSED with tattling right now was running around the house saying, "Sammy is throwing 'no' balls at the house!!!" We were all laughing since it sounded like he was saying there were NO balls being thrown which is ironic since that would be a good thing.
 Can you tell he was happy?
 Uncle Chris' son kept throwing 'no'balls at him so finally, Chris tackled him to the ground in the snow. Of course, Spidey loved that.
 Petey came out in mismatched gloves and 'no'boots that actually fit me but that's what happens when you only go see the snow once or twice a year.
 Isn't her sweater the cutest? I was pretty proud. I found it at Dillards last week. It was originally $50 but I bought it for $15.
 Spidey likes to explore and got stuck down a small hill so Uncle Chris helped him climb back up.
 There's Uncle Chris' son at it again. He loved throwing 'no'balls at everyone.
 Uncle Jp made a little sledding pathway for the kids and they had a blast with it.
 Petey learned that snow is ice and it tastes good.
 One of the uncles had to be at the end of the tiny hill when the kids were sledding so they didn't run into the trees.
 Jp made the kids' day by grabbing the sled rope and running around the yard really fast.
 Here is a video of him running around with them.

That video also introduces the next two pictures...
Petey learned that it is just easier to lick the snow right off the ground.
So naturally, she taught George to do the same thing...

Wilbur Force got in on the sledding action.

Uncle Chris' oldest son tried out the sled as well.
And so did Aunt Candace. She loved it.
After a while, Petey was ready to be done and begged to go inside and warm up. Can you see the pain in her smile? Sh was freezing! It was probably all of that snow she ate.
Spidey ventured out behind the house to find more snow. I had a hard time following him back there because my feet kept sinking.
Then we brought everyone inside to warm up, drink hot chocolate and watch a movie.
Of course, this is where Candace stayed most of the day.
Bug was all smiles for me that afternoon.
George had fun trying to get him to smile.
I can hardly stand how cute that kid is.
Sorry, Andrea, you said this picture was hot so I added it just for you.
This is what the rest of the room looked like as I was taking pictures of Bugsy.
The two besties.
Bugsy fell asleep on his moms legs. Even sleeping he is adorable!
 Mini G, all wrapped up and warm.
The next day, we were ready to leave and since it had snowed again, my car was "covered".
Yes, if you live in the snow, this isn't "covered" but it was more than I've ever seen. It was also the first time I've had to brush/scrape snow off of my car to be able to drive.
There were icicles under my car.

I learned the hard way that when scraping snow off of your car with a broom, make sure NOT to hit a tree branch right above you. Snow will dump all over you...
I got to spend some time with Mini G while her parents packed up their car to leave also.
Since the kids didn't stay up to ring in the new year with us, they loved wearing the hats and tiaras the next morning.

It was a great new years and I am so grateful to my family for putting up with me and my wild children.