Social Acceptance

 I don't have the typical family---although I couldn't even tell you what the "typical" family is supposed to look like.
I'm number 4 of 6 and I grew up with the knowledge that we are all different. There was no denying this concept. This wasn't even something my parents had to teach me.
It was just a fact of life.

My little sister has never spoken a word in her life. She is autistic and she has a short temper if her routine is tampered with. Her facial expressions aren't always socially normal and it is pretty easy to notice her physical handicaps upon meeting her.

 But who decided this? Who decided what the social norms are? Because what if a thousand years ago, it was normal for people to rock back and forth and hum loudly and walk around with what we could label a 'semi-disgusted look'? What if what was normal back then is not in the slightest bit socially acceptable now?

 At the age of 10, when I was well-equipped to love those human beings who were different than I was, a little brother came into my life and introduced me to a whole different scheme of normal vs. abnormal.
Because although he has a chromosome disorder, he is very high functioning. In so many ways, it is different than watching my little sister grow up. Because he can understand when people are making fun of him. He can communicate and receives love easier than she can.

Although they both can technically communicate, they are different. And on top of that, I am different too. I was given challenges, much different than theirs', that sometimes create socially abnormal thoughts in my head. In fact, sometimes I react in 'socially unacceptable' ways.

But what is normal? And who decides it?

Although each of us (besides my little brother) contain similar genetics, we are all completely different people who react to situations uniquely.

I think this realization is one of the reasons I work so hard to keep an open mind when people share their opinions. Sometimes I am surprised when I find myself agreeing with an opinion I didn't think I'd ever agree with. But the idea that we are all the same just isn't cutting it. Societal norms and cultural beliefs aren't always our personal norms.

And that's ok. It's ok to feel strongly about something but to understand where the other side of the argument is coming from. Life isn't black and white. 

I could say this about my opinions on Ordain Women or vaccinating or eating/exercise or trauma or addiction or pornography---although my opinion on pornography is probably the least likely opinion to budge. 

This vaccine debate has been confusing and hard for me. I've expressed my feelings about my belief in vaccines and have gotten retorts relating to a person's unique experience with a vaccination that their child reacted to. I have also had people speak about how a family member has died due to non-vaccination.
I get it. I do. I get that we all have opinions. But isn't there some line in the middle of all this madness where we sit down and realize that everyone is trying to make decisions based on what they believe to be best? Isn't it ok to speak respectfully and not assume the other side of the argument is being conned by the devil himself?

I get that this isn't always the case. We have a personal duty to judge each situation we are in and decide whether it feels safe for us. I'm not trying to tell you that I think you should put yourself in a situation where you are unsafe or outside your personal boundaries.

What I am asking is that we open our eyes a little wider and look at the people around us. Are they normal? Abnormal? And what makes us label them that particular way? Does our label have to do with our safety or with society's views on what we should/shouldn't tolerate?

Above all else, I find it odd that our general society accepts the notion that if you don't agree with someone, it is ok to blindly view them as less informed than you. I find it odd that an emphasis on love and acceptance isn't the most important thing we focus on in our society. Because how do we know that someone is less informed? Who are we to decide where their beliefs came from and how valid they are?

My mind is circling with these questions and I don't have all of the answers. I just have a view in my head of what the world would look like if we were more accepting of other people, in all of the different and unique "norms".
And I can tell you, that view looks particularly inviting to me.

2014: Day 17

Day 17: Your Favorite Memory

I felt immediately blessed that upon reading today's writing challenge, multiple memories came to mind. I've had a great life so far and I'm so lucky to remember so many wonderful things.

The memory I've chosen for today is something that has always been special to me.

My favorite {and only} brother is adopted. He was born when I was 9 3/4 years old. His adoption was finalized when he was 15 months old, the day before Halloween. And then on Halloween, 15 years ago, I was the luckiest 11 year old in the world because I got to be in the temple with my whole family while my brother was sealed to us.

I don't feel like I took that day for granted, which is a common feeling among a lot of good things in my life. I remember feeling so special that I was younger than most people who got to step inside that sacred place. I remember getting a new white dress and feeling like an angel. I remember how calm and peaceful my autistic little sister was. I remember how calm and peaceful I felt.

I am so lucky that these people are attached to me for eternity. My brother has always been one of my best friends. I was extremely attached to him in high school and cannot imagine what life would've been like without him there. My darkest high school days were a little brighter because of him. And the happy days were happier than ever because of him.

I have a strong testimony of temples and the sacred things that go on inside. I feel so blessed to have a knowledge of forever families.

2014: Day 10, 11, and 12

Day 11 was supposed to be about my siblings but since there are 6 of us and since I skipped day 9 as well, I'm lumping them all into one post. Because I can.

 

I am the 4th of 6 children; 5 girls, 1 boy.

I've always wanted a lot of daughters because I loved growing up surrounded by sisters---you know, when we weren't cat fighting over clothes, make up, jewelry, etc.

 

So I want to take the time to talk about each of them and their families.

 

Jamie:

Jamie is my oldest sister. She is 7 years older than me and being the firstborn, she was very 'mothering' when I was growing up. I always looked up to her but never really thought we'd be close because of our age gap.
The interesting thing is that even though I am the 4th daughter, I was the second one to get married. Then we got pregnant with Petey and I felt an insta-connection to my oldest sister because she was the only one who already had kids. I'm glad I got to experience that with her because it made us much closer than we were.
Jamie got married when I was 16. She made me an auntie when I was 17. Her children are now 8, 6, and 1. I love all 3 of them.
Jamie is a talented singer and piano player. She is also a really hard worker and a wonderful mother.

Karin:

 Karin is daughter #2 in our family. She is 5 years older than me. Karin got married to her awesome husband, Chris, in 2011 and became stepmom to the two older boys in that picture. Soon after getting married, Karin announced she was pregnant and now that baby boy is 1! I felt a connection to her son right away when I met him and I miss him so much because they live in Virginia {Not fair!}.
Karin is also a talented singer and piano player. She is also great at making friends and keeping friends. It's funny to watch the different life stages we've all been at when we became mothers. Karin was the oldest and she is so protective of her little guy. I guess we're all kind of that way but Karin's mother instincts are incredible and I admire the way she raises Lil Lo.

Andrea:

 "We're best buddies, yeah!" Andrea and I are only 2 years apart and that chant was our motto growing up. We have almost always been best friends. Andrea has the only inaccurate family picture right now because she just had a baby 4 days ago! I can't believe she's already a mom of 3 since it seems like we just had our boys last year {Her oldest and Spidey are a month apart}. Her kiddos are 4, almost 2, and 0 and she is one busy momma!
Andrea is also a talented singer and piano player {I'm actually the only one who didn't keep up with the piano playing. Oops.}. She is also really good about budgeting, couponing, and anything along that line. She was brave enough to move with her husband to China and I admire the wife and mother she is.

Candace:

 Candace is almost 3 years younger than me. She was also one of my best buddies growing up. Candace is autistic and has never been able to speak. But if she wants something, you'll know it. :) Candace is feisty. One of my favorite things about Candace is when she starts laughing out of the blue. Sometimes she has to catch her breath she'll be laughing so hard. We all believe it's because angels are telling her jokes.
Candace has so many talents. She is amazing at doing puzzles and building legos. She is so creative. She has the entire hymn book from our church memorized. You can write a title of a song and she will flip right to the page it's on. Her mind is amazing.

Will:

I would usually start out by saying that this kid right here is my bestest buddy but let's be honest, he's everyone's best buddy. Everyone loves Will. He has the biggest heart and says the funniest things. He is almost 10 years younger than me and is my only non-biological sibling. I remember when my parents brought up the prospect of adopting this perfect little boy. It was a 9 year old's dream! I was elated to have another sibling and after all of those girls, I know my dad was excited for a son.
Will also works hard at singing and is in choir at church and school. One of Will's best talents is to make everyone feel loved and included. He brightens up whatever room he is in. Will is pretty lucky to have the best older sisters everrrr but I think we lucked out more than he did. He is such a great brother.

I'm lucky to have the family that I do. I cannot thank God enough for letting me be a part of this crazy, messy, hilarious Guthrie world. There's no family I'd rather be a part of than my own.