Christmas 2014

 I knew this Christmas was going to be full of magic. It just had to be.
This is most likely the last Christmas I will ever spend with my kids on Christmas Eve AND Christmas day because of our parenting plan.
I had all of our presents bought weeks ago. It was small but small is ok. In fact, I liked small this year.

On Christmas Eve, the kids opened their new pajamas and both of them were overjoyed. We had spent most of the afternoon/evening with my parents, taking family pictures and eating delicious food, so by the time we got home, it was already past bedtime.

As soon as the kids went to bed, I got started on my Santa duties.

I thought it would take longer to put Ninja's drums together but they actually weren't too bad. I got it all done within the hour and I headed to bed for the night.

 The morning was, as expected, all sorts of magical. The kids were both full of gratitude that Santa had listened to their requests. We were wrapped up in happiness and family time for most of the time.

And then 2pm rolled around and my kids left to their dads house---and selfish me, I started to ache to have them back. And not only did I ache to have them back, I started to feel sorry for myself that I was single. My sisters were planning a date night with their husbands to the movies and I didn't want to go. Instead, I headed to my best friend's house and spent the rest of the day with her family.

As I was contemplating the afternoon of Christmas, I struggled with a few things. I felt guilty for not wanting to be around my family after my kids left. I wasn't sure they would understand. I wasn't sure they would be happy about it.
In the past year, I've learned some things about myself and one of those things is that it's hard to be around my nieces and nephews when my kids are gone. I find myself missing them more. I still spend time with my family when my kids aren't there but I avoid it sometimes. I've also found that it is really hard to go on "dates" with my sisters or friends and their spouses. I feel like a third or fifth or ninth wheel.

But guilt aside, it was a great afternoon. I'm so grateful my friends are so welcoming. They get it. They love me. I am a part of more than one family these days.

Along with Christmas day came the thought that I'd actually get Christmas cards out this year.
About that...
They're currently all printed and sitting on my desk. They just haven't left my desk. And I'm not sure if they will ever leave my desk...

But it was the first year I've ever printed Christmas cards so maybe next year will be the first year I mail some out.

 I jotted down some highlights of 2014 for our family.

And filled the other side with pictures...because I LOOOOOOOOVE pictures.

I'm sorry you may not have gotten a card from us and if you did, you should feel extra lucky because you're probably one of three people.

Merry Christmas, friends.

The Loss of Tradition

 How is it that every time I'm struggling---every dang time---I always seem to hear/read/feel what I need to hear/read/feel?
Tonight was no exception.
I was feeling sorry for myself. Feeling sorry that for five days this month, my children won't be in my home. And I'm not talking five days total---I'm talking five days in a row.
And do you know what two of those days are? Christmas Eve and Christmas Day.

I'm going to miss these happy faces and squeals of excitement as they open gifts from Santa.

 I'm going to miss seeing them in their new Christmas pajamas.

I'm going to miss too much. And then in 2 years, I'm going to miss it all again.

It's realizations like this that seem unfair. How? Why? When? I ask myself how I got here, why I got here, when I got here.

My children are my life. I'm serious. You can ask anybody. And I don't care one bit if you think that is healthy or not. I wouldn't trade them for anything. I eat, sleep, and breathe motherhood. I take short breaks from it when I'm in school but the whole time, I'm thinking about my kids. I stare at pictures of them when they're not here. I think about their past, their present, and their future and I'm constantly worried about whether I'm doing this parenting thing right.

So tonight, I was struggling. There is so much to be learned with this new life and most of it, I just don't like.
I was perusing one of my new favorite blogs when I came across this post. It couldn't have been more perfect.
Breaking tradition. Not having the traditional family. I have to get used to living with these things. I need to find ways to be happy and have a life of my own.
But I don't want to. I want my children to engulf my life. I want to hide behind their greatness. I want them to be my one and only life.
Unfortunately I have no choice anymore. I am breaking traditions and I'm going to successfully pick myself back up and walk once again.
I'm strong. I know it. I feel it. I may not want to be strong but I am.
I can do hard things.

Christmas is going to be extremely hard. I have to decide where to go, what to do, NOT to sign in to Facebook, etc. I have to decide whether I want to be happy or miserable on my own this Christmas.
But I can do this.

I can do hard things.

Our Service Elves

If you know me, you know I'm not usually one to follow the crowd. If a video is being tossed around Facebook, I try to avoid watching it---just because.

So when Elf on the Shelf became really popular a few years ago, I had no intentions of getting one. Ever.
Then Elf on the Shelf became popular for doing naughty things while the kids slept but he was supposed to be there to make sure the kids were making good choices. It all seemed a bit ridiculous and hypocritical to me. I understand it's all cute and fun but I didn't want to send my kids mixed messages like that.

Then, the amazing world of Facebook introduced me to this post about kindness elves a few weeks ago. My favorite quote from her post: "Present giving is because you love someone, not because they deserve it. Hence why we focus more on the gift of our Savior at Christmas and His free, undeserved love to us instead." I have never felt right about telling my kids to be nice or Santa would be bringing them coal. That idea just never sat right with me. Whether my kids make good choices or bad choices, I love them just the same so why would Christmas be any different?

Jesus Christ has already given us the greatest gift of all---eternal life---and it just doesn't seem right that during a holiday commemorating his birth we would focus on how our children are being naughty or nice. Christ loves us regardless of our actions. We love our children regardless of their actions. And I plan to give my children gifts regardless of their actions.

But lately, there has just been too much whining when we go to the store or buy presents for other people. The other day, Petey flat out threw a temper tantrum on the floor of Walmart because she wanted a candy necklace kit that I had said no to buying. It was actually after that tantrum that we sat down and had a long talk about people less fortunate than us and how we need to have gratitude for everything we've been given. Petey decided it would be a good idea to donate some of her clothes and toys to little girls that don't have the things she has.

So we have implemented a new 'Elf on the Shelf' idea in our home. Each night when the kids go to bed, Pexy and Angel {the original names my children picked for their individual elves} will write us a letter with an idea of something we can do the next day to serve someone else. Some ideas I've had have been baking cookies for neighbors, cleaning our rooms, paying for someone else's food in a drive-thru, donating toys/clothes to a shelter, do a secret service for your sibling, etc. The kids are already so excited to wake up tomorrow and see what their elves have written in a letter for them.

I'm hoping and praying this helps us move past the entitlement phase of Christmas and onto the service phase. I know my children have good hearts but they're still children and it's really hard to buy someone else a present when it's exactly what you've been wanting. I understand their frustration but I hope I can teach them real Christ-like love for others so we can switch our focus to Him during this special season.

And with that, welcome to the family, Pexy and Angel! I hope you can help us remember to love others and serve them so we learn to have gratitude for what we already have.

Christmas Traditions: Part 3

Last year, my sister-in-law and I made fun little advent calendars for our kids to use the month of December. We took note cards and wrote down fun things the kids could do each day as a countdown to Christmas. Of course, we made each card look cute and put them on green cardstock. :) I had a little red box with snowmen on it and that is where my cards are stored.
We just started our advent calendar today (since I had forgotten about it) and the first card my kids picked out said "Go for a walk outside.". It was the perfect card for us today since we had been cleaning all morning and hadn't left the house all day. So off we went.
I thought I'd let Spidey "walk" with help of the monkey leash. :) We kept trying to run in the street so I am very glad we had it with us.

Petey wanted to ride her bike instead.

We decided to stop off at the park to play with some friends. My kids were ALL smiles for about 10 minutes before Petey started crying and saying she was cold.

And then she bawled the entire walk home. "sigh"

But as soon as we got home, I found a beanie and some gloves and she cheered up.

Spidey wanted a hat and gloves too. :) I love his cheesy little grin.

Yes, as you can see, she even put her headband over her beanie. So stylish. :)

And of course, I snapped some more pictures since they both looked so darn adorable.

I have no idea what my boy was doing here but he sure is a cutie.

It was a fun day and I can't wait to see what the kids pick out of the box for our activity tomorrow!

And that's how Suze sees it.

Christmas Traditions: Part 2

Last year, I posted a fun Christmas tradition that we have implemented with our children. You can read about it here. We give the kids pajamas in their cute bucket every year. The only sad thing about that post was that it was labeled "Christmas Traditions: Part 1" and I never wrote another Christmas Traditions post that December.
But we are still a pretty new family and are trying to figure out some traditions throughout the years.
Well in this post you will find TWO more traditions we are implementing this year.
The first involves my cutie patootie daughter. :) We decided this year that she is old enough to write a letter to Santa.

Since she can't exactly write yet, I dotted out each letter for her to trace over to write her letter. She has been talking about a big girl bike ever since her cousin got one last year. Here is her letter, after she traced all of the letters. She was REALLY proud of her letter and we are going to mail it to Santa this week at Macy's (because for every Santa letter put in a special mailbox at Macy's, they'll donate $1 to Make A Wish foundation. Read more about that here.). Since our Spidey isn't quite old enough, we didn't have him write a letter this year. But next year, for sure. :)

The other tradition that I wanted to share with you was something my sister in law had brought up a couple of months ago. She found the blog post herel and she blogged about the way they are going to do the tradition herel (Yes, I know that says "herel" instead of "here"...my link tool is being dumb and the only way to keep the link was to not delete the last letter of the web address).

I have heard many people say that the commercialism of Christmas is getting out of hand and I completely agree. Christmas is a time to reflect on the birth of our Savior and we give gifts to celebrate his birth. So because we want our children to remember Christ during Christmas, we decided to focus on giving them 3 gifts that represent the gifts the 3 wisemen brought when Jesus was born.

Gold- Something our children REALLY want.

Frankincense- Something our children need.

Myrrh- A spiritual gift to help them grow.

Santa will still be bringing them a gift from him and their stockings will still be filled. When they get older, they will probably exchange gifts between each other (and hopefully by then we'll have some more kids to add into the exchange) but for now, 4 gifts (including Santa's gift) is plenty for them to enjoy. And hopefully, by organizing our Christmas this way, we can help them to focus on the main reason we give gifts.

And that's how Suze sees it.