Sunday, September 23, 2012

Like a Little Child

I used to think it was silly when in the scriptures it says to become like a little child. I always looked at that and thought, "Oh ok, so I can throw tantrums? How about making messes? And what about acting wild all of the time and not having the best listening skills?"
You see where I'm going with this. Becoming like a little child just didn't seem like the right thing to be doing. But it wasn't until I became a mother that I realized exactly what that scripture means.
Children love unconditionally and they love everyone. Children don't judge. They know what true happiness is and they aren't bogged down by all of the worries we all have in our lives. They love God without question. They are excited to learn every day of their lives.
So my goal now is to become like a little child. I wish it were an easy task but it isn't. I love many people but I find myself not loving too many people unconditionally.
I try not to judge but it still happens every day.
I may know what true happiness feels like but I often forget about it throughout my busy day and tell myself I don't have enough or that I'm not good enough.
I am constantly worrying about something. I am scared to death of leaving my children with big groups of people because I figure they'll be forgotten about and then they'll end up lost. I stress about school next year for Petey and the choices I have to make for her before then. I stress about teaching my children how to be good people and how all of my yelling will negatively affect them. I stress about my marriage and whether I am being a good enough wife and mother and daughter and sister and aunt and cousin. As you can see, my worry department is full.
I absolutely love God but there have been times I've questioned it.
I am not the most excited learner.
How I wish I could remember what it felt like to be a child. I hope I can stop judging because I hate feeling like I am being judged. I hope I can worry less and love more. I hope I can show my children that it is possible to become like a little child as an adult.
And that's how Suze sees it. 

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