Monday, June 17, 2013

The Princess and her Queen

My Petey is strong willed. It has been a long time since I've experienced what I experienced as her mother last at least a year, maybe even two.

Ever since she was a baby, that girl has had a mind of her own. The five year old phase has been my least favorite and most favorite so far. Confused? I am too. My little girl is testing that five year old brain of hers and seeing how much she can get away with. Her attitude is feisty, her tone is often disrespectful, and she has a newfound love of the word no. On the other hand, when she is sweet, she is the sweetest and most helpful little girl I've ever met.
So back to last night. I don't quite remember what she had said or done but it was enough to earn her an early bedtime. As she was crying, screaming, wailing, and throwing toys at her door {which all seemed vaguely like my own childhood tantrums}, I prayed to know what to do. Her dad had had enough, her brother was now trying to sleep, and I couldn't figure out the best way to approach the situation. In my earlier parenting years, I would've ignored all of her actions no. matter. what. but for some reason, my heart tugged because of the things she was saying.

When I decided to go into the room of the tantrum-throwing little girl, she was full of tears and said to me, "I just feel like no one is being nice to me and I feel so empty inside." We layed down for quite some time together and I had the opportunity to pour my motherly heart out to that sweet child of mine. I tried my best to explain why we do what we do and how her actions have consequences. After a long talk and lots of hugs and kisses, she fell asleep almost instantly when I left the room.

As soon as I left the room, my mind turned to my blog post from last week. I thought about my wishy washy parenting and how it could affect my children for better or for worse. I believe, at least in this phase of life, that what I'm doing is the best thing I can be doing. I feel such a strong bond to the little girl that reminds me so much of me. Most of you who knew me growing up might be worried for my sanity and wonder why I'd feel blessed to be raising a child like myself but I am. I feel like her and I will have some of the hardest and best times in this life together. She is my little princess and I am her queen {her words, not mine}.

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