I have half a post written that I'm really proud of but it just didn't feel right to finish up right now. Instead, I'll start a new post and revisit that one later.
They left yesterday. My children are with their dad until Christmas afternoon and so far, I've handled it well. No tears---surprisingly. Most of this 'holding it together' can be attributed to the world's best friends. I had plans last night, this morning, and again tonight. I think Monday is when it will get harder. That and at nighttime.
In my journal, I often ask a million questions. How? Why? I'm still accepting this as normal life. I'm not there yet but I'm doing surprisingly well, all things considered.
I feel guilty having a relaxing weekend. I'm a 24/7 mom. This isn't supposed to be happening. I'm supposed to be knee high in laundry, dishes, potty breaks, messes, and tantrums. Instead, a friend took me to the spa this morning and I'm watching a chick flick with another friend tonight. Am I supposed to enjoy these nights? I guess I know what the answer is but for some reason, I still feel guilty.
As much as I don't like it, being alone is good for me. I love my friends, I love my family, but I have so much quiet time to come closer to God and focus on what Christmas is all about. Sometimes, the toughest things help us grow the most.
Merry Christmas, everyone. I hope to get that other post up soon but we'll see how I'm feeling about finishing it. :)