Weekend of Birthdays, Dance Recitals, and More Birthdays

 On Friday, Boss turned another year older and wiser. Since he had to work and Petey's birthday was a busy day, I took her and a friend to see The Croods. All month she's been asking to go to the movie theater for her birthday.

She had a hard time picking since I told her she could only bring one friend. I wish we could've taken more but that would've been expensive.

 They were excited for popcorn, of course.

 The movie was super cute and the kids laughed a lot.

Boss got off early so when he got home, we had him open his presents.

 Petey insisted he would love this pack of mints, which he did. :)

 I got him a new shirt.

 Spidey picked out this awesome Captain America shirt for his daddy.

 And I also got Boss a spotlight for when he goes camping. We didn't much else the rest of the day but I did let Boss nap and not do much that day.

On Saturday, Petey had her end of the year dance recital. I was happy and sad and excited and more sad because this is probably her last dance class with Miss JaNae.

 Petey has adored JaNae since she started classes with her last July and as a mother, I've appreciated everything JaNae has done for my girl. She has so much patience and is such a fun teacher. It's going to be an adjustment to have a new dance teacher but Petey is so excited for dance team this year.

 I love this picture of my boys. They were such good sports to sit through a 2 hour dance concert.

 My parents and younger brother and sister were also able to come and support Petey. She did really well even though she was having attachment issues that day and didn't want me to leave her in the dressing room with someone else during the recital. Unfortunatly, we weren't allowed to videotape this performance and though I've ordered the dvd, it won't be online for any of our out of townn relatives to enjoy.

Sunday was the last of the birthday celebrations. Petey had asked for a 'queen cake' and my mom went above and beyond and made this adorable cake jut for Petey.

It is exactly what Petey had wanted and she was a happy birthday girl.

 After dinner massages...Petey looked zoned out while Boss massaged her face.

 Petey opened her last present from us after dinner, princess barbies. She LOVES them.

 Grandma and Grandpa got her this Tinkerbell backpack/lunch box that was filled with Hello Kitty stuff. Our girl was in Heaven!

 Boss got a drill from my parents and though his smile is cheesy, he's been so excited about it.

 Petey and Aunt Gigi, admiring her Ariel barbie.

We sang happy birthday one last time this week to the birthday boy/girl and they got to blow out candles.

I love these two people so much and am so glad they are MINE!

Just Like Dad

 There are so many reasons I'd like to freeze Spidey at this age for a while.

He is such a silly little thing. On this particular night, he stuffed probably 7 pieces of tortellini in his mouth so he could have dessert. It only took him 30 minutes to chew it all up...

 He is just so lovable and seriously adorable.

 This week, he finally decided that riding his bike isn't so bad and he is starting to learn. He has only had that darn bike for almost 5 months now! For being such a monkey, I'm surprised he has refused to learn how to ride a bike. I figured he'd be riding circles around Petey by now.

We know he needs a haircut but can't decide whether we'll actually cut it. All of that red is just too cute, even when it's sticking up and curly on top of his head.

The facial expressions just kill me. He's so hilarious. His "smile" faces seem to get weirder by the day but I know we'll look back on these pictures and have some good laughs. Sometimes I have to remind him to open his eyes when I take pictures. That face is just the epitome of Spidey.

My favorite thing about Spidey right now is that he is so into being just like his dad. The other day he said, "Mom, when I'm bigger til I won't grow more, I'm gonna have a blue truck just like my daddy." Then, I started asking him if he wanted to be bald like daddy and go to work like daddy and he enthusiastically said yes. He looks up to Boss so much and it absolutely melts my heart. I am so grateful that Boss is such an amazing dad. If Spidey turns out to be just like his daddy, I'd feel like we did a pretty great job raising him.

If you can't tell, I'm proud to be the momma of that boy. He is so fun to be around and I'm glad I get to experience life with him in it. It makes everything better.

Mommy Time

Last night was just weird. I fell asleep at 8:30pm and when I turned over for the first time in the "middle of the night", it was 11:30pm, which is the time I usually go to sleep. I then ended up wide awake at 4am but forced myself to go back to sleep until 7am.
Also, to add to the weirdness, I had a dream that I had accidentally made the Olympic gymnastics team. The accident was that I did super awesome in try outs but when it came to the Olympics, I realized I didn't even know how to tumble. I kept apologizing to Makayla Maroney (not kidding...) and telling her I didn't mean to make myself a part of their team. It was an accident!
I know, I know, you don't care about my sleeping habits. But it was just so weird. And funny. But mostly weird.

Anyway, we had the greatest weekend. I hope yours was amazing as well but if not, you can enjoy the photos from mine.

Boss is kind of really amazing and offered to take the kids for 4 hours instead of the normal 2 he takes them every Saturday, while I do whatever I want {within reason}.

So I took off and ended up here...

 On a dirt road, somewhere East of where we live. It was beautiful and cold. I took a notebook and just had time to reflect on my life and how wonderful it is.

 After that and a trip to Bed, Bath, and Beyond, I came home to a delicious meal of parmesan chicken. Boss says the kids made almost everything for the meal, he just cooked it all. I was really impressed! It was such a wonderful morning and it made me so grateful for this wonderful husband/father in our lives.
After that, we all hung out on the couch and for some reason, my camera was out taking pictures of our craziness.
Every time I would take a picture, Spidey would ask to look at it and then want to take another one. He is so funny.

Boss left for a while to go work on his truck at a friend's house and I surprised him by actually cooking dinner. That's only slightly sarcastic...I don't cook often enough.

Just look at this picture of the tortilla soup I made is making me want to have it again! It was one of the most delicious meals I've made. It tastes so similiar to the tortilla soup I grew up with! If you'd like the recipe, here it is. It was amazing. The only change I'm going to make next time I cook it is not adding any serrano peppers (it was too spicy for my kids) and not marinating the chicken in lime juice ahead of time. I like lime...but not that much. Other than that, this recipe was perfect!

Hope everyone has a fabulous week! I plan to be more productive and grateful this week. There really is always something good in life to look forward to.

I can do hard things

 I always thought I was a patient person when Petey was a little girl. She hardly ever got into trouble and when she did, I felt like I could keep my cool easier. I don't know if the hardships we've faced this past year have made a difference but I've found myself with less patience as these two munchkins have grown. I feel like a completely different person than the mother Petey had as a small toddler. So many things have changed since then, some good and some bad.

I've learned that the OCD my mom's side of the family passed on to me isn't always as funny as it used to be. I've learned that I like to be in control...and I prefer that all of the time. I've also learned that I'm hardly ever in control and that I have to get used to that. I've learned that my children need a mom who sits on the floor and plays Candyland and Chutes and Ladders. I've learned that dance parties and "freeze dance" are two of the most fun things to do with young children. I've learned that God's timing is more important than mine.

Most importantly, I've learned that I can do hard things.

A year ago, I wouldn't have imagined being strong enough to handle a year like last year but now that it's over and a new year has begun, I know I can handle anything.

And while I'm out handling this incredible life God has blessed me with, I know there are 3 people that I can always count on to lift me up.

Because pretending to be a horsy and dancing around til we're all out of breath has turned out to be the best medicine for trials. I'm lucky to have people who keep me sane when I'm just plain outta my mind. Or maybe they're just crazy with me...

The Importance of my Eternal Marriage

Tonight, I want to blog about the thing I am most thankful for at this very moment in time and that is my marriage.

Months ago, I didn't think I'd be married today. My attitude was in the wrong place and I just didn't think I was going to continue on with the eternal commitment I had made. Around the time that my husband decided he didn't want to continue to go to church with our family, I decided that was the final straw. "Poor me", right?

Big. Fat. Wrong.

Let's start with what changed my outlook on this not-so-big-but-seemed-really-huge trial. From the time I was a little girl, I judged those who stopped coming to church. I thought it was the end of the world for their happiness and for the happiness of their family members. I knew nothing like that would ever happen to me because I wouldn't be able to handle it (Kind of how I viewed infertility before becoming an infertile person. Ironic? I think not.).
The morning my husband told me he didn't have a testimony and wanted to stop going to church with us, I thought it was all over. I was angry and scared. I cried more in those first weeks than I did when I was diagnosed with infertility. I would write little odd things on my blog about going through something really hard but I didn't want everyone to know what was happening. It was hard feeling alone and I will forever be grateful to my best friend/sister who was the only one I really talked to in those weeks. I didn't feel like this was something we were going to be able to get through. I didn't feel strong enough to handle this.
But one day, things started changing. I began to view my husband as a child of God. I began to see this as his trial and realize that I am here to love him and support him. I realized this not-really-my-trial should have never had a 'poor me' sticker attached to it. I started realizing that my husband didn't feel like he is a child of God and that began to make me sad. Que this post. I hoped by some miracle that this trial would last weeks for him but such is not the case. Boss is figuring out his life and in the mean time, he is the best husband a girl could ask for.

What I've learned through this is that my eternal marriage is more important than what is happening at this very moment. There are days that are hard. There are days I'm worried probably more than you can even imagine {or at least I hope so}. There are days I want it all to end. But just like anything else in life, even on my hardest days, I've learned to trust in God's plan for our family. He knows what our life is and where it is going. I have faith that He will never leave me when I'm feeling lonely. He loves me. He loves Boss. And He wants us to be together forever. And guess what? I want us to be together forever too.

Everyone has trials. Everyone is dealing with something of their own. There have been many times I've been afraid that our family is being judged, just as I did to others as a kid, but what I've learned is that all I can do is make sure I'm not judging others. We don't know every personal story of everyone around us so why do we judge them for what we see on the outside?

If I could ask for one thing this holiday season it would be for more love. Not love for me but for my husband and for all of the others who are struggling to find out who they are, just as he is. I would ask that you reach out to someone you know and just love them. Don't judge them. Don't try to force them to do something. Just love them. Unconditionally love them as God loves all of us. I can bet you anything that God doesn't look at Boss and others and think, "Wow, you're making a stupid decision right now. How dumb! How frustrating!" He gets sad because He wants His children to know of His love but all He does is keep on loving us and hoping that we'll recognize and feel it. That's what I pray we can all do for someone close to us.

I am so thankful for my family and for the knowledge I have of God's love for me. I am thankful for the abundance of blessings in my life. I am grateful to know that no matter what trials come my way, I have faith that I can get through anything with God by my side.

And that's how Suze sees it.

The Two Bald Guys I Live With

My heart is kind of breaking today. It must be the unbalanced hormones I am currently experiencing but it's been over 24 hours of me grieving my infertility. Why do days like this happen? I thought it was getting better.

But since I don't really want an entire blog post about infertility and negativity, I'll write about my husband and son because they make me smile and I'm so lucky to have them.

Yesterday, I asked Boss to cut Spideys hair. The above picture is a picture from a few days ago but it shows that his hair was getting a bit long. I love the red hair and I hate cutting it all off but it gets hot in the summer here and my little boy sweats a lot so his hair gets really nasty.

I specifically asked Boss to buzz Spidey's hair and what I was wanting was his hair to look like it does in the picture above. In my mind, buzzed means mostly cut off but still showing that the kid has hair! (That above picture is from last October.)

I walked into the bathroom a couple of minutes later and found this...

Oh yeah, you're seeing that correctly. Boss SHAVED just the top of Spidey's hair off. Seriously? Really? Seriously?!! My brother in law said the picture looks like Benjamin Button and I totally agree. That was such a creepy movie in my opinion and that is what my son looks like in the picture!

Of course, he did end up shaving it all off and then he let Spidey help him shave his own head (which is something he does every month...he doesn't like having a receding hair ling so he chooses to have no hair at all.).

And here is the finished product of my bald little son. I was actually quite mad that he shaved his head but I know it will grow back so I've gotten over it pretty quickly. But I do a double take every time he walks in the room. It looks SO weird!

I'm so thankful that my family can take my mind off of this trial that seems to be neverending in my life. They really are my best friends and my favorite people!

And that's how Suze mourns her son's bald head.

Two Birthday Parties

We had a family party for Petey this past Saturday. She requested it be a Pinkalicious party, which was easy enough since we just made everything pink. :)

 The food table. Nothing too fancy but we tried.

 Petey wanted PB&J's so we did those, plus egg salad and chicken salad sandwiches.

 I dyed the lemons pink and put them in the pink lemonade.

 Boss' brothers really love my camera. Cant you tell? :) And yes, I did try to make a cute background with streamers and balloons but the tape I used wasn't strong and they kept falling down!

 It was so nice to have both our families come a bit early and help with the food and setting up tables/chairs.

 This picture may be a bit blurry but Petey was just so excited and jumping around, waiting for everyone to show up.

 Petey said she was cold so I let her lay down with a big blanket until people showed up. :)

Almost everyone that was invited showed up and we had a full house...literally. Petey asked about 20 times when she could open her presents and finally, after we were done eating, it was time!

 Grandma and Grandpa got her a Minnie Mouse backpack, super cute Mickey shaped earrings and a necklace, a dress, shirt, and new light up shoes!

 Boss' friends, Ryan and Kaitlin, got Petey a cute pink dress and a little kitty that purrs and moves it's tail when you pet it (it is not a real kitty...battery operated :).

 Boss' aunt and uncle got our girl Princess shrinky dinks. I've never done them before and they're really cool! Boss helped Petey make some later that day and now she has a cute charm bracelet with them on it.

 My sister, Jamie (and her family), got Petey a cute purple bear, some lip gloss, lotion and perfume (which Spidey has already successfully shattered...it was made out of glass).

 Boss' other aunt and uncle got Petey a magetic dress up Princess set. She loves it!

 My other sister, Karin and her husband, got Petey a Tinkerbell toothbrush holder and a sun catcher.

 Nana and Papa got her some adorable dresses, a matching purse, and a Princess book.

 We had forgotten about a certain present we got for our girl so she opened Chutes and Ladders from us.

 Then it was time for the birthday girl to blow out her candles. I accidentally put 3 candles on it until someone asked if I did that on purpose. I guess I was in denial that my baby girl is 4 now!

 Success! She blew them out in one try.

 The best part of blowing out the candles is when it's over and you get to eat the "Pinkalicious" cupcake.

 That afternoon, she painted her sun catcher...

 ...and put it up in the window.

 Boss played Chutes and Ladders later that day. Petey loves games and since she got a few of them, we have been busy playing games all week.

 I had to take a picture of Petey on Sunday morning. We bought her this dress for her birthday and I think it's beautiful! Definitely one of my favorites on her right now. :)

 That night at dinner with my family, we celebrated Boss' birthday.

 The kids were very excited for him to open his present from my parents. :)

They got him new church pants and some surprises ($$$) in the pockets. :) He really needed new church clothes so this was the perfect gift.

It was a fabulous weekend and I am so glad we have so much family who support and love us and our children.

And that's how Suze sees it.