2014: Day 10, 11, and 12

Day 11 was supposed to be about my siblings but since there are 6 of us and since I skipped day 9 as well, I'm lumping them all into one post. Because I can.

 

I am the 4th of 6 children; 5 girls, 1 boy.

I've always wanted a lot of daughters because I loved growing up surrounded by sisters---you know, when we weren't cat fighting over clothes, make up, jewelry, etc.

 

So I want to take the time to talk about each of them and their families.

 

Jamie:

Jamie is my oldest sister. She is 7 years older than me and being the firstborn, she was very 'mothering' when I was growing up. I always looked up to her but never really thought we'd be close because of our age gap.
The interesting thing is that even though I am the 4th daughter, I was the second one to get married. Then we got pregnant with Petey and I felt an insta-connection to my oldest sister because she was the only one who already had kids. I'm glad I got to experience that with her because it made us much closer than we were.
Jamie got married when I was 16. She made me an auntie when I was 17. Her children are now 8, 6, and 1. I love all 3 of them.
Jamie is a talented singer and piano player. She is also a really hard worker and a wonderful mother.

Karin:

 Karin is daughter #2 in our family. She is 5 years older than me. Karin got married to her awesome husband, Chris, in 2011 and became stepmom to the two older boys in that picture. Soon after getting married, Karin announced she was pregnant and now that baby boy is 1! I felt a connection to her son right away when I met him and I miss him so much because they live in Virginia {Not fair!}.
Karin is also a talented singer and piano player. She is also great at making friends and keeping friends. It's funny to watch the different life stages we've all been at when we became mothers. Karin was the oldest and she is so protective of her little guy. I guess we're all kind of that way but Karin's mother instincts are incredible and I admire the way she raises Lil Lo.

Andrea:

 "We're best buddies, yeah!" Andrea and I are only 2 years apart and that chant was our motto growing up. We have almost always been best friends. Andrea has the only inaccurate family picture right now because she just had a baby 4 days ago! I can't believe she's already a mom of 3 since it seems like we just had our boys last year {Her oldest and Spidey are a month apart}. Her kiddos are 4, almost 2, and 0 and she is one busy momma!
Andrea is also a talented singer and piano player {I'm actually the only one who didn't keep up with the piano playing. Oops.}. She is also really good about budgeting, couponing, and anything along that line. She was brave enough to move with her husband to China and I admire the wife and mother she is.

Candace:

 Candace is almost 3 years younger than me. She was also one of my best buddies growing up. Candace is autistic and has never been able to speak. But if she wants something, you'll know it. :) Candace is feisty. One of my favorite things about Candace is when she starts laughing out of the blue. Sometimes she has to catch her breath she'll be laughing so hard. We all believe it's because angels are telling her jokes.
Candace has so many talents. She is amazing at doing puzzles and building legos. She is so creative. She has the entire hymn book from our church memorized. You can write a title of a song and she will flip right to the page it's on. Her mind is amazing.

Will:

I would usually start out by saying that this kid right here is my bestest buddy but let's be honest, he's everyone's best buddy. Everyone loves Will. He has the biggest heart and says the funniest things. He is almost 10 years younger than me and is my only non-biological sibling. I remember when my parents brought up the prospect of adopting this perfect little boy. It was a 9 year old's dream! I was elated to have another sibling and after all of those girls, I know my dad was excited for a son.
Will also works hard at singing and is in choir at church and school. One of Will's best talents is to make everyone feel loved and included. He brightens up whatever room he is in. Will is pretty lucky to have the best older sisters everrrr but I think we lucked out more than he did. He is such a great brother.

I'm lucky to have the family that I do. I cannot thank God enough for letting me be a part of this crazy, messy, hilarious Guthrie world. There's no family I'd rather be a part of than my own.

2014: Day 9

 Day 9: My beliefs

On my blog and in my life, I am pretty open about what I believe but today, I'd like to share my testimony once again, a little more in depth.

I was born and raised a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. When I was 8 years old, I made the decision to be baptized and have the Holy Ghost with me at all times.

I struggled in high school and pushed against everything I believed and had been taught because I'm not a person that likes boundaries. 'Immature me' didn't understand why I was counseled not to drink, smoke, have sex before marriage, etc. I felt like I was being confined in a small space and I needed to get out. So I pushed the boundaries as far as I was able to and what did I find at the end of that rainbow?

Well, not a pot of gold, I'll tell ya that much!

I found a lot of heartache, a lot of fake friendships, and a lot of danger.

So now let's talk about 'mature me'. I was about 18.5 when 'mature me' started to surface. Things started to make sense that I hadn't thought of before. The RULES I felt were so bluntly holding me back started to look a lot more like bad decisions and less like fun. I started to realize that I could make any decisions I wanted---no church was forcing me to make those decisions.

The guidelines I once hated are now a part of my life because I believe I am happiest when living them.

At 19, I was engaged to be married. My fiance and I already knew exactly where that wedding would take place.
The Mesa Arizona Temple.
We were married in April of 2007 and I cannot imagine a more perfect place to get married.
So why did we get married in the temple instead of somewhere else?
Because during our wedding in the temple, we were never told "til death do you part". It was a covenant we made to be together forever---for eternity. We were sealed to each other for time and all eternity.
That was an extremely happy day in my life. And I don't feel weird talking about it because of my current circumstances. The temple is sacred and I have a strong testimony in the covenants I made.

I also believe in prophets and apostles. Our church holds a general conference every 6 months and we get to listen to uplifting messages from our prophets and apostles. It isn't a secret. Anyone can listen or attend these meetings. I believe that those prophets and apostles have the ability to speak directly with God and the things they tell us aren't just things they feel like saying---they are things our Heavenly Father needs us to hear.

 I believe in families being together forever. Because of the covenants in the temple, my children are also sealed to me forever. When we die, we will see each other again. We will live together again. Death is not the end.

I believe that Joseph Smith translated the Book of Mormon and that he saw God and Jesus Christ. Because of this belief, I know that Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ are two separate beings.

I found this wonderful picture that shows some main "stats" of Mormons.

I live what I believe because it has made me the happiest I've ever been. I have so much faith and know that my life has a specific purpose.

If you'd like to know more about what I believe, please visit www.mormon.org or send me an email. I'd love to share more of my beliefs with any one of you.

2014: Day 8

Day 8: A moment.

This is probably the most vague challenge but the second I read it, I knew what I wanted to talk about.

I wanted to talk about April 2012.

April 2012 was a great month.
I was getting used to my infertility and the fact that I might not have any more children.
My kids were at super fun ages---3 and 2 years old.
But the most significant event of April 2012 was getting called to be the second counselor in our ward's Relief Society.
At the time, I was struggling to decide whether I was a good person or not. Infertility had rocked me and taken a chunk of my self esteem with it.
I had never voiced those fears to anyone, not even my husband but the minute I was asked to be that second counselor, I had an overhwleming feeling that my Heavenly Father knew me, loved me, and trusted me. He knew I was a good person and He wanted me to know it.
That calling changed my life.
Sadly, I was only in the presidency for 4 months but during that time, I learned more about service than I ever had before. I learned how to love and not judge more than I ever had before.
The month after I was released was the second hardest trial I've experienced in my life (and it had nothing to do with being released) and I honestly believe I would've handled it so differently, so much worse, had I not been given that chance to learn and grow so much the 4 months prior.
April 2012 through August 2012 gave me such a great testimony that things happen for a reason. The events that have transpired in my life have come in a specific order because I needed them in that order. I don't believe that Heavenly Father inflicted me with infertility or made us get divorced because "that's just part of the plan". I believe those things happened because of free agency and unfortunate circumstances.
But let me tell you, I whole-heartedly believe that Heavenly Father knew what I was going to go through and so He placed other experiences in my life to help me learn and grow before, during, and after each trial. He knew I needed extra strength and so He helped me gain that.
So do I believe everything happens for a reason? Well, that question is loaded but my main answer would be no. But I do believe that when people utilize their free agency, God gives us tools to deal with that.
And when I think I've been given too much to handle, God won't leave my side until I figure out how to be a little stronger, deal a little better, and smile a little more. He is always there.

2014: Day 7

 Today is all about my friends.

And since I feel so blessed that I have a lot of friends, I did have to narrow it down to 5 friends who have taught me a lot.

I remember years ago, after first getting married, when I wondered if I would ever fit in anywhere. I was really young and all of my friends were single. Then we moved into our current house and all of the people who had children my childrens' same ages were at least 5 years older than me. It took a while to learn that friendships can be found anywhere and age or children's ages aren't always a deciding factor in who you are friends with.

So here they are---the 5 women {who aren't in my family} who have taught me the most:

Emily:

My favorite things about Emily:
Emily is honest. The advice she gives me is honest with a capital H.
She seems to have my 'faith over fear' motto down. She is confident and happy.
She is friendly to everyone and won't exclude others.

What I've learned from Emily:
So...how long do we have? Ok, I'm kidding but only a little bit. Emily has taught me so much, especially these past 5 months. I've learned that I need to be confident in myself and not rely on what anyone else thinks of me. She's taught me to put a smile on my face and remember that bad things happen for a reason and usually, good things come because of it. Emily's strength is ridiculously amazing to me. She is someone I want to grow up to be just like. :)

Lacey:

My favorite things about Lacey:
Her sarcasm that matches up with mine perfectly.
Her ability to make everyone feel included.
Her openness of her testimony.

What I've learned from Lacey:
Lacey has taught me so much about serving others. She is always doing something for someone else. I can feel that she cares about me even though sometimes I probably annoy her. :) She watches my kids often, wanting nothing in return {They are actually at her house right now}. Lacey is the epitome of a true Christian to me.

Cassie:

 My favorite things about Cassie:
She is real. Like down to earth, tell you what she's thinking real.
She is really funny.
She lets me pretend her baby is also mine. Kind of. Not in a creepy way. He's just soooo adorable!

What I've learned from Cassie:
Cassie has taught me how to have a positive attitude in any situation.
She is brave and has taught me how to take risks and have faith.
Patience. Cassie is one of the most patient moms I've ever met. I don't know if I've ever heard her yell.

Heather:

 My favorite things about Heather:
Her ability to do hair and how all of her children are so adorable!
Her honesty---sometimes brutal honesty.
How motivated she is in life.

What I've learned from Heather:
I've learned how to accept others as they are. This may not be something she thinks she's taught me but Heather and I weren't always super close. Actually, because of Heather's blunt honesty, I used to be intimidated by her. Now that makes me laugh because we are such good friends but it was once true. Heather really taught me a lot about trusting others because once I trusted her, I knew she was an amazing friend.
It also amazes me how motivated she is to do things in life. I have learned a lot about being brave and putting myself out there because of Heather.

Leyla:

 My favorite things about Leyla:
How loving she is to everyone
Her attitude and strength
Her ability to create amazing pictures

What Leyla has taught me:
Leyla and I go way back---ok, four years back. There was a time in our lives where we weren't friends---more the opposite. Without Leyla's decision to put herself out there and come talk to me, we still wouldn't be friends. I owe our friendship to her and her amazing strength. I wasn't a great friend and she taught me how to love more and worry less. She taught me bravery and how to be kind. The funny thing is, when we talk, she'd explain things the opposite. But for me, I know it is because of her amazing ability to love others that we are now close again.
Leyla has also taught me how to have fun and not worry what other people think. She is the type of person that would give you the shirt off her back if she thought you needed it. She is extremely selfless.

Stacey:

My favorite things about Stacey:
Her ability to ask for help when she needs it
Her devotion to her family
Her positive attitude and kind-hearted personality

What I've learned from Stacey:
Going back to the first thing I said about her, I've always loved that if Stacey needs my help, she will ask. If she needs help with kids, she asks. If she needs me to run to the store, she asks. And if I can't do it, I never feel worried telling her that. She just simply asks and if I can help, I do. I wish more of us were able to speak up when we need help, even with little things.
Stacey is such a kind-hearted person. She has taught me to speak kinder to others. She has taught me to have faith in any situation. She has taught me to love more and act on things when I get the feeling I need to do something for someone else. She smiles a lot, even though her life isn't perfect. She just seems so grateful for everything she has and it makes me want to be more grateful for everything I have.

My friends are amazing. They are in my life for specific reasons and I can see that. God knows what He is doing. And He has surrounded me with people who build me up.

2014: Day 6

 Today's challenge seemed simple: write about my day. But since the day isn't over and this is my time to write, I want to tell you about yesterday.

Sundays are usually wonderful. Having three hours of spiritual lessons and being surrounded by loving, supportive people is usually a great way start my day off right. But yesterday was better than my normal Sunday. The kids were with their dad so church was all about focusing on the feelings in my heart.

One of my closest friends found out last week that her husband has cancer. He's in his 30's. They have two young children. I've known her for 4 years now and it breaks my heart to see them going through this trial. So yesterday, I fasted for her husband along with most of our ward and their families. I've been feeling so helpless for her and this was a way for me to ask God to help them in ways that I can't. I came home from church having more faith than ever before that they can get through this.

This particular friend has already taught me so much about loving and serving. She has been there for me during some really dark times. When I was sad on Christmas Eve, I got a text from her, inviting me to spend the evening with her family. Maybe she knows it, maybe she doesn't but it's the little things that have made the biggest difference.

So I was feeling great all afternoon. I got to my parents for dinner and I was surrounded by siblings, nieces, nephews, and friends. Sunday dinners are usually great memories. I was anxious to see my kids since they've been gone for 2.5 days so as soon as it was time, I drove to go pick them up.

I've always loved Boss' family. They've always welcomed me as part of the family and I love being around them. Last night was no exception. It made my heart happy to see my kids running around with cousins and second cousins. Nothing is better than seeing real smiles on my childrens' faces.

Icing on the cake to my already wonderful day?

I think so.

The last quote below is something I've been feeling often lately.

God is ever present in my life. I'm so thankful to everyone and everything He places in my life. He gives me second chances and believes in me. Even when I don't feel like I deserve it, miracles happen in my life that cause me to look up and say, "I know that was you, God. Thank you."

2014: Day 5

Today's challenge is to write about what love means to me.

There are so many components to the word love that I believe make it such an incredible word.

To me, love is selfless. Love is service. Love is finding that seed of greatness in everyone around you.

Love is seeing others through God's eyes and understanding His view of them.

We are taught to love our parents, love our spouses, love our children, love our friends, etc. but what about loving those that it's hard to love? Do they need love too?
Maybe it is your parent, spouse, child, or friend that is hard to love. What keeps you loving them? And if you've stopped loving them, what caused you to stop?

Sometimes it's hard to stay focused on the things that really matter. It's easy to get offended or think that we deserve so much more. This has continuously been something I work on in my life. I often feel jealous or jump to conclusions or believe I deserve better but the truth is, when I focus on loving and serving, none of those other things seem to matter.

I love pretty easily. I love quickly. I am grateful that I have a natural tendency to find the good in others. The irony is using the word natural because I wasn't always this way. But throughout my life, I've learned to find that good in others because I would want others to do the same for me. And now it is natural.
I see love as an important thing in everyone's life. Everyone shows it differently but everyone wants it. No one truly wants to be hated.

I remember the very first time I stared into my newborn daughter's eyes. The love I had was unconditional. She was perfect. Nothing could change the love I have for her. It was an unexplainable love, the type you would need to experience to completely understand. She was the first person in my life that helped me to understand the phrase "I am a child of God". I knew she was my mortal daughter but far greater things were in store for her. She is a princess, the daughter of a King. I loved her and it gave me a glimpse of how my Heavenly Father sees me.

God knows we all make mistakes. He knew that when he sent us here. But He loves us unconditionally and that is my goal in life---to see everyone the way Heavenly Father sees them.

2014: Day 4

 Day 4 is all about my secondborn.

Spidey is my baby boy.

He came into our lives unexpectedly and yet, very expected and anticipated. I was so excited to have two kiddos only a year apart.

Spidey just really fit into our family from the very beginning. I hardly remember Petey being an only child. The both of them are a pair in our family and it seems like they came that way.

 Spidey has always loved dogs, even big, huge dogs. He trusts them and loves to play with them. It was surprising when he started this at a young age because his sister would have a panick attack if the tiniest dog was loose at the park---I'm talking, teeny, tiny dogs. But Spidey has always loved them.

 Spidey is my cuddler. Back then and now, he is a cuddle bug with his mommy. If he has his blankey, he will crawl up on my lap, stick his finger in his mouth, and nestle up close to me and stay there for long periods of time. I soak it in now because I'm sad his baby years went so quickly.

 Spidey is also our "sicky". He has been on more breathing treatments in his life than the rest of us combined. He gets sick more easily than the rest of us. And yet, now that he's older, even he isn't sick often. Moreso as a baby, he would easily catch things that were going around.

 This boy has given me more mini heart attacks in his lifetime than I thought possible. Before he learned how to walk, he learned how to climb on my kitchen table. He has always been a climber.

 Spidey has the best smile. I'm serious. His goofy and quirky and I love it. Sometimes it changes but it is always adorable.

 Spidey was born a pound bigger than his sister but two inches longer so he looked a ton skinnier than her as a baby.

 He quickly made up for that with his eating habits and was the only chubby baby I've ever had so far. :) I love looking at pictures of him being chunky because it only lasted probably half a year before he was miniature like his sister. I think he weighs almost the same as this picture now. ;)

 Spidey was the best baby ever. And when I say that, I'm not exagerating. He only cried when he actually needed something.

 He has always had a happy disposition. He was a ridiculously good eater and probably eats the same amount of food now as he did at 6 months old because he's now so picky.

 Our favorite picture of Spidey. Spidey was 9 months old here and still a chunky kiddo. I was so excited when his hair started to grow in red. Everyone told me red heads were 'firecrackers' and I had a hard time imagining my Spidey being anything but sweet and calm.

I now know what they were talking about.

 Spidey is such a stud. Everyone who meets him loves him. He says the funniest things and has a big imagination.

He is my favorite boy. I love the good and the hard that he brings into my life. He teaches me patience and also how to let loose and have fun. Spidey is so many things but most importantly, Spidey is mine for eternity. I love him so much and am so glad he is a part of my life.