Tonight, I miss my husband. Oh, he is right in the other room but I miss him still. Avatar is not my #1 choice of movies, hence the reason I resort to blogging time (instead of sleeping time). He has been at a bachelor party all night...and as he was gone, I was thinking back to the last time I attended a bachelorette party...I think it is safe to say it was my own (maybe my sister's). Sad...
I know, I know this sounds so "pity party" of me but in all seriousness, having a family changes everything. I love my family. But there are days I just want to call up a friend and say, "You wanna hang out?" and be there 10 minutes later...like I did when I was 10.
I think I even missed my best friend's bachelorette party (kinda how I missed her wedding AND being her bridesmaid)...thanks, bedrest! My beautiful baby girl was born exactly a week after her wedding...one month early...hence the bedrest and missing one of the most important days of her life.
Facebook seems to keep me 'connected' with oh so many friends but do I ever see them? "Best friends" from high school whom I now realize were selfish and always lying or talking behind my back (oh yes, I had many of these types of friends...maybe it's the reason I'm friendless now). I regret high school A LOT, even now 4 years later! I regret choosing the friends I did, ignoring the great people who tried to befriend me and ending up with almost none in the end. I am so grateful that my best friend sticks by me but she lives in a different state! I thought church would provide many new friendships but not many of them do I actually associate with outside of church (seems those friendships were made long before we moved into the ward). I'm just at a loss.
How is it that my husband kept so many friends and I ended up with close to none? What did I do wrong?
I'm slightly confused tonight, slightly sad, very grateful for my family, and very tired..
And that's how Suze sees it.