Thursday, August 19, 2010

Fuzzy and Dull

Sometimes I just feel fuzzy and dull.And I procrastinate and whine. I put it in my mind that I am not skinny because of my body type---which is only half way true. The half that's missing is the WORK half. I literally have done nothing to lose weight in maybe 3 months. Sad, I know.
But instead of doing something about it, I feel dull and fuzzy. I feel lost and I would even tell you that life is unfair in those moments.
But life isn't unfair. Maybe the skinny mom of 4 is having self esteem issues just as I am having.
I have a pretty fair life and because I'm in a funk, I have decided to list all that is good in my life.
  1. My husband. He is my support and my rock. We argue and fight but there is no one in this world that loves me more than him.
  2. Petey. That girl is a fireball and a sweety pie (actually that's how she got the nickname Petey...cause her Papa calls her a Petey Swy instead of a sweety pie). She loves unconditionally and will always hold a special place in my heart.
  3. Spidey (Papa gave him this name because he shares a first name with a famous UFC if you know the UFC fighter named "The Spider", you now know my son's name) is just a joy to be around. He is constantly smiling and giggling and learning something new. I know he is going to wear me out because he is always on the go but I love that about him.
  4. My older sister, Andrea. She is my best friend. Enough said.
  5. My mom. My husband's mom. Both of our dad's. My sister in law. Honestly, our whole families!
  6. My job. I know I'm quitting but I'm grateful for the 4 years I spent there.
  7. Being able to stay home.
  8. Technology.
  9. A lovely 3 bedroom house that we already seem to be outgrowing but are not moving anytime soon so we'll love it just the same. :)
  10. My van. I LOVE my van and we were in no circumstances to buy a car when the opportunity present itself. We seriously are blessed.
  11. My religion. I am LDS. And this church is true. If you'd like to read more or have me send you a Book of Mormon , I would love of charge!
  12. All of my challenges and's hard for me to admit but what hasn't killed me has only made me stronger. I believe I am a better wife and mother because of the life experiences I have had.
  13. The fact that I get to be surrounded by children from now on. These kids are my life and I did not know I could love mini human beings so much!
So today, Ill try and feel a bit brighter and more clear. Ill hug my kids one last time before bed. Ill tell my husband what he means to me.

And Ill realize that life really isn't all that bad.

And that's how Suze sees it.

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