Wednesday, October 24, 2012

I Wont Give Up

Infertility has been hard. For 18 months now, I've wondered if 2 would be our number or if we would have more children. I've cried a lot, been angry a lot, and prayed a lot more than ever before. But as each day passes, I find out more and more how blessed I am already.

The past 18 months have been the hardest so far in my life. As a family, we've endured a lot. At first, I thought we were growing together and getting closer but that hasn't been the case. I've learned these past few months what marriage means to me and how important it is to not give up. I've learned that marriage is about giving more than receiving.

It's very easy to get caught up in ourselves and think that our spouse should be treating us better but what we don't look at is how we are treating our spouse.

Many times in the past year, my husband would come home from work and I would be on the computer, exhausted from my long day with the kids. I would shove them at him and tell him it was his turn to care for them because I needed a break. Most nights, we would be doing something separate from each other in completely different rooms of our house and we wouldn't really talk at all.

My marriage is now the most important thing to me and when I heard Jason Mraz's song, "I Wont Give Up", I felt like it was meant for our family. We are up and we are down but if we don't learn to give each other support and love, we will never last.

Marriage really is about giving and not about receiving and I plan on being there for my husband for eternity.

As selfish as I've been the past year, I cannot believe how many things I've missed with my family. I was going through pictures to find ones for a video I wanted to make and I found more than enough of my husband doing things with our children. In my mind, he wasn't helping enough around the house or putting us first but what I didn't realize was that he has always been doing that, I just didn't see it.

I am so lucky to have married a man that has stuck with me even when I'm blind to his goodness. I am so lucky that he is always there for our children and takes such good care of them. He usually gets the biggest smiles and I know it's because they feel of his unconditional love for them.

I tried out a movie maker program because I was set on making a video collage with Jason Mraz's song. I hope you enjoy it.

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