Monday, July 22, 2013

It's All Worth It

I have been so busy and productive lately. I've been making necklaces and bows like crazy, the kids have had things going on, school starts for Petey in a little over a week, and my days have been full of children and cleaning.
I was driving the other day and I didn't even know why I was smiling. I just couldn't stop. I'm just really happy right now. The bad days fizzle and the good days are what I remember. Life is far from perfect and yet it feels pretty perfect.
If you would have told me that happiness was possible with the current struggles in my life, I would have laughed in your face and yet, here I am achieving happiness amidst trials. It's possible, people.

The kids have been challenging me daily. The pictures usually show them getting along but there is a lot of fighting going on. There are a lot of bad words being used and fists being thrown. There are a lot of tantrums for silly reasons and time outs. But I'm still happy. I've been reading Petey books at night and I can see her little eyes brighten when I lay down next to her. I snuggle Spidey in the mornings since he's been waking up before his sister.
 Dance days usually look like this. If we have Baby D, we often sit in the car because he fusses during dance class so Spidey ends up playing on the Kindle. He loves it. I love the quiet. But sometimes, I just want him to hang out with his momma.
And sometimes, he does. I love those moments.

I've been steadily writing back and forth with Boss' cousin my adopted little sister, Kaitlyn. She's serving a mission for our church and I'm just so proud of her. It's hard to see someone you love struggling. It's hard to see them have ups and downs because you just want to make their days full of ups. I'm sure that's how my own mother feels sometimes. I can't imagine having to watch my children go through huge trials and not being able to take it away from them. As I was pondering that the other day, I realized that must be how our Heavenly Father feels as well. I'm sure it's hard for Him to watch us struggle but he wouldn't let us struggle in vain. He knows those struggles are what make us stronger, better people.

I'm grateful for my life. I'm so lucky to have so many wonderful things. I don't doubt that my life is exactly where it is meant to be right now. The kids will only be young for so long and someday, I'm going to miss the 3 yr old tantrums and the 5 yr old talking back. So for now, I'm just trying my darndest to embrace it all.

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