Thursday, May 20, 2010

My Internet World

I think sometimes my "internet world" makes me feel like life is perfect. I escape here to upload pictures, talk with friends, and write to you all. When I am here, the challenges I am facing in reality seem smaller. My challenges seem easier to face. Sometimes I hint about them to you, sometimes I keep them to myself but my thoughts always seem to be more clear as I am here talking to you.
I feel moody lately. I'm talking hormonal, pregnancy moody---but oh thank goodness, I am not pregnant. I just feel that way. Why? I dont know.
Work is driving me nuts. As my co worker and I were talking the other day about some guy that called and yelled at ME(!) for his insurance processing claims wrong, she said to me, "Collecting money is always awkward. We will always be the bad guys." I wish people understood more. I wish it wasn't about collecting money because we hate everyone in the world but because we are running a business and we provided a service for that person. Do people understand that when insurance processes and tells me that the patient is responsible for this portion of the bill, I am not lying and trying to cheat them out of their money? I am simply doing my job. Sometimes I love it...but there are times when I am getting yelled at and my heart is beating fast and I am starting to stumble over my words that I'd just like to quit and go home to my children. Do people realize when they're ridiculously rude that I have somewhere I'd much rather be too? And dont even get me started on no show fees...I'm not the one who missed your appt, sir.

Anyway, tangent aside, it has just been a hard week and I have found no time to escape to my blogging world to decipher my thoughts about this hard week. I found myself at a crossroads---I could choose be happy or I could stay mad until I had time to blog. If that is not the dumbest sounding thing, I dont know what is. My blog doesnt save me and it certainly isnt the only thing in the world that makes me happy. So I decided on the normal choice and chose to find some my children, in my husband, in my sister, and even at times at work.

My life isnt much as Id like to believe it is...but Ill pull through. Ill be out of this rut in no time.

And that's how Suze sees it.

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