Some days, I feel like having a melt down...

(like my kids in this picture)

..Actually, some days I DO have melt downs.

I'm not having one right now (I probably wouldn't be on the computer) but occasionally, I get them. It's one humongous thing that I love about my husband. He has learned in the past 3 years of marriage that when a girl needs to cry, she just needs to cry. Recently, I was having a hard day and almost to my melt down mode and he came to me, held me tight and said, "I know you need to cry so just let it out." And I did. And he made it all better. Because he loves me.

Today, we were talking about baby names, not because we are having a baby but because even if Said Baby will be up in Heaven for 3 or 4 more years, he or she is going to need a name. We love talking about baby names. So I say I want to name my daughter Shyloh...he says he hates the name because it is a dog name (as is Sadie, apparently). He says he wants to name our son James or Joshua...I tell him it's too boring. And then one of us says something to the effect of "Well, you dont get to choose because..." and we come up with some obnoxious reason. Mostly, this is how it goes. We have a name that we agree on picked out for the next boy or girl but we always feel the need to bring up new names...in case we decide we like it better. If I wouldnt die from insanity, I'd probably have 10 kids to use up all of the names we like...though about 8 of them would have to be girls because those names are always easier to choose. Baby names are a fun fantasy. Even with young children, I dream of adding to our family---not right now---but 3 years sometimes feels so near in the future that I feel we need to be "ready". I'm not exactly sure what we're getting ready for but we're gearing up for 3 years from now.

When we talk about baby names or other things and the argument ends with someone telling the other that they have no say in the matter, I always feel like we aren't being the "team" we should be. It's true, I'd like to agree more and argue less, but as a whole, we are a team (hence being a whole). I try to worry about the small things and deal with the bigger things...like trying to teach my son that baths are not scary and a death scream does not need to follow every sit in the tub. Or how my daughter is learning to strip herself in public and how she recently decided it would be smart to run out in the middle of a busy parking lot (right in front of a Hummer, I might add). Or how I still want to lose that 50 pounds and I've done just about nothing in the recent weeks to accomplish that. Or maybe how I need to be a better support system for my stressed out husband trying to balance school and work and family.

Ill just end this crazy, mixed up post with 2 sentences.

I love my husband.

And that's how Suze sees it.