Thursday, December 13, 2012

I'm Already Equal

 Ok, y'all, let's get serious. All it seems like I am is a stay at home mom. It seems as if my contribution to the world isn't much but in reality, I do a heck of a lot inside the walls of my home. And many times, I contribute outside of my home.
If you know me, you know I'm a Mormon. I know I seem like your typical Mormon mom that stays home with her kids and is perfect at everything homemaking and my husband brings home the bacon and we have this oh-so-old-fashioned-and-perfect life that we live. If you read my blog, you know that isn't true. {Have you seen my cooking? Or worse, tasted it?}

First of all, what is so old fashioned about staying home? And what the heck is so wrong with it?

Do you know why I'm asking those questions? Do you know where I'm going with this post? If you've recently heard about the "wear pants to church" Sunday that is almost upon us, you're right on track with what I want to talk about.

But actually, I'd like to take it a step further. I want to talk about what I think it means to be a feminist and why I don't really like that word.

First of all, from what I understand, feminists want equality. I used to think this meant equality in the work place, which I am all for one-hundred-and-ten percent! I have also read on feminist blogs that they want the right to be working moms and not being judged for that decision. I'm not judging you. I was a working mom for almost 3 years and I see nothing wrong with those mothers that work because they don't want to stay home all day with children. I believe the best mothers out there are the ones making decisions based on their childrens needs. If you know you are a better mother when you're working, work! And if you know you need to stay home with your children, find a way to stay home. Both of these choices are valid and both contribute to society.

What I find to be my least favorite part of these feminists groups is that they are all about acceptance and yet, they seem to think that mothers should work so we are strong and intelligent. There are women who think I am less equal to my husband because he works and I stay home.

Well, I'm here to tell you that at least in my situation, that is not the case. I am an equal part of my family. I am raising a future generation of adults. What I do is pretty darn important.
 If you know me, you know I am a jar full of crazy. Just take a look at that above picture. What 25 year old, mother of 2, who is 40lbs overweight does the splits on a huge bouncing balloon? Just in case you were wondering, minutes later, my feet did buckle under me during a jump and I remembered that I'm not in the body I used to be in. ;)

Anyway, I'm crazy. Have we already established that? I often rant about things that have nothing to do with me. I often get offended where no offense should be taken. I get worked up over little things. If you are a new friend of mine or especially one of my new sister-in-laws-to-be, I apologize in advanced for the crazy you will experience from me in your lifetime.

But I need to let my voice be heard by my 40 readers about this "wear pants to church" Sunday. I know you think I have nothing to do with this situation but honestly, I'm Mormon and that means my perspective might be different than that of a non-Mormon reading about this protest.

I go to church each and every Sunday. I hardly miss unless I am legitimately sick. I attend church for 3 hours, 1 of those hours with my two children and 2 of those hours while my kids are in their classes. I go to church to worship. I go to learn and to renew my convenants with my Heavenly Father. I don't go to show everyone how freaking awesome I look in my new dress, though most times I do look freaking awesome {I just can't help it.}. I don't wish there was anything different about the way my church is run. I don't wish to wear pants because I am a woman and I'm proud of the fact that I get to dress up in my best clothes to show God how much I love Him. I also know I am equal to everyone man in that church every Sunday. I don't need the priesthood to know that I am equal. I love that there are things men can't do that I can and vice versa. I love our differences and our similiarities.

Also, if a woman shows up to church in pants, which I've seen many times, I love her just the same. I don't care that she has pants on. What's great is that she's at church, worshipping and learning with me. There is nothing in our church guidelines that tells women we have to wear dresses. I've always been told to wear my Sunday best and I interpret that to mean wearing a dress. Other women might own nice slacks and deem that to be appropriate for church attire and I think that's wonderful. The best part is being at church together.

I absolutely love my ward family. I love going to church each Sunday and seeing all of my friends, ranging from ages 20 to 82. Seriously, I love everyone in my ward. They have helped me through some of the toughest times in my life yet and I'm so grateful to be a part of this amazing group of people. I'm not just saying it to look good on my blog. I would not judge a woman coming to church in pants. I just don't agree with members of my faith starting a protest where a group of them will wear pants to church to show their equality to the men.
I'll just end on this note. One of my favorite things I've read regarding this protest {or whatever it is this is being called} was from a young lady posting on a Facebook group page. She said that if she has ever felt unequal to the men at church it is because she feels like the men treat her of more importance than themselves. I wholeheartedly agree with that statement. I know how important it is to be a woman and on top of that, a mother. I love my calling. I love that I am a daughter of God and that He knows and loves me for the person that I am, and not in comparison to anyone else.

And that's how Suze sees it.

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