Often times, this is what I say when I'm finished yelling. They do crazy things that catch me off guard and I resort to yelling more often than not, especially if their craziness results in a mess or inflicting pain on someone else.
But I hate yelling. I hate the way I feel when I yell and I hate the look on my kids faces.
I've made "no yell" charts for myself before and tried other things but I've just gotten so used to yelling!
So when I came across this article entitled "12 Ways to Yell Less and Have More Fun Parenting", I knew we needed to make some big changes and I had hope that change is possible! Luckily, my kids are still pretty young and hopefully they can remember me as a peacemaker and not a yeller.
(Seriously, I have no idea why the above paragraph is shaded...I must've done something but I didn't mean to!)
I love the ideas in the article of ways to help us moms yell less and love more. I'm sure each of us can relate to one of the steps she says to follow. For me, I definitely struggle with planning ahead. I have these wonderful dreams of always having snacks and activities packed for when my children are out and about (Most recently, it's been remembering to pack snacks/activities for Spidey while he has to sit in a stroller and watch his sister have fun at her swim lessons.) but I just never seem to make it happen!
I remember my sister once telling me that I always had the mom bag, filled with fun things for kids and snacks in case anyone is hungry. And it's sort of true. There was a time in my life, a time when we were better off than we are right now, when I always stocked up on prepackaged snacks so I could grab them when we needed to run somewhere in a hurry. But that can't really be an excuse. If anything, all that means is that we are healthier eaters because we have less money. :) If I am going to take the time to prepackage my own food, I'm going to make it fruits and veggies or other healthier snacks.
I also yell more often when I'm not engaging myself in what the kids are doing. Obviously, they get into less trouble when I'm playing with them instead of on the computer or doing chores around the house. Also, if I am upset about something that has happened that they cannot even control, I find it harder to keep my emotions in check. But I have to! I have to remember that my bad moods don't need to affect them.
I often remind my husband that our kids are going to act how we act. How will they ever learn to have patience if we yell within seconds of them doing something wrong? We have to teach by example and be the type of people that we want them to model. They are not going to just turn into well behaved, obedient, patient children if we don't literally teach them what it means to be well behaved, obedient, and patient. We have to be what we want them to be.
Is anyone else feeling the pressure? Because I certainly am.
In a perfect world, we would all be on the floor playing with our kids 24/7, never yelling, teaching them how to be good people day in and day out...but reality is not perfect and we can't be perfect. Try as we may, we won't achieve perfection in this life and that's ok!
My very favorite part of the above article was this: "Most of all, if you do yell, be a good role model and apologize, forgive yourself, and try again next time."
Even though we can't be perfect, we can pick ourselves up and try to do better every day. That is definitely my top priority right now; to do better than I did yesterday. I always want to be moving forward in the right direction and I want to make sure my kids understand that though I'm not perfect, I am trying to be a good mother.
So here's to less yelling and more family fun!!!
And that's how Suze sees it.