Thursday, September 1, 2011

Ok, God, I hear you now

Today, I was driving.
Today, I was crying.
Today, I was crying AND driving.
Today, I had way too many overwhelming moments.
Today, my PCOS kicked my butt. I hope it doesn't do that tomorrow.
The cramps were horrible, the hormones were even worse.
But today, I lived. I shared memories. I breathed. And I even smiled.
Today was good.
Hard but good.

As I was driving today, I thought about the many times this week that people have stressed how important health is with PCOS. I thought about how my diet has to change and how I need to get on a better exercise routine. And then I thought about what God must be feeling. I wonder if he is up there saying, "Suzanne! I gave you a good body. Please keep it healthy! It is special."
It is special. I am special.

I've had family members express their amazement when they see me passing up a cookie or soda (A lot of these have been expressed by my proud husband). I've been asked how I seem to be doing it pretty easily. Well, honestly, I am doing it because I feel I have to. This isnt just about me looking fat or skinny anymore. It is about how long I will live, how many children I will be able to have, and hopefully, it'll keep me from getting diabetes. (please, please, please, please, please!)

So I'm doing what I can to keep my quality of life the best I can make it. And hopefully, soon down the road, it will help me conceive and bring another healthy baby into this world. But for now, I am staying busy with the two that I have. :)
They are just too cute for words. Lately, they've been much better friends and I love that about them. Their friendship hasnt come as easily as I thought it would, since they are so close in age. They have such different personalities but I'm glad they have learned to play well together.
Though, I'm not glad that Spidey has learned to do this. "sigh"

And that's how Suze sees it.

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