Not smarter, just different

I want to blog but I have nothing to blog about. (dont worry, I always find a topic by the end of my post)

Sure, I could blog about how crazy Spidey's hair was at our Crockett Mexican fiesta last Friday.

Or how loud the fireworks were that my dad, husband, and brother in law were setting off.

Or how BIG my little girl looked today wearing her "I am a Child of God" crown after church.

But those are usually reserved for my family blog...and I feel like typing/talking/thinking.

I don't feel like sleeping but my eyes are slowly shutting due to lack of sleep. New Year's really throws me off---especially when my son wakes up at 6am that morning.

I've been thinking lately about him and my daughter. About how frustrating being a mother is. And some of the most frustrating parts have little to do with our kids and their current attitudes. It is frustrating being a mom and being told what is right, what is wrong, what is loving, what is teaching, etc.

I try so hard to teach my kids...and when they don't turn out to be genius', I am mind-boggled.

Just kidding.

But when my kids are healthy and full of knowledge, I often feel like it isn't good enough. That is the root of my problem right now. The feeling is hard to be explained because I am doing what I feel is right.

Nope, at the age of 1, my daughter didnt know what a temple was nor does my son. She does now. But there are many things, that in comparison to other children, my children don't know.

And there are many things they DO know.

I wish I didn't compare to the many kids that I see on a daily basis and think, "Crap, my daughter doesnt recognize the first presidency yet and Billy does...we need to work on that RIGHT NOW!"

It's hard, being a mom. I feel like other's may scrutinize me because I haven't focused as much on teaching Petey the gospel as I should. But some things aren't on the top of my teaching list right now. I am slowly teaching her in a way that feels right to me. She says her own prayers, we read scriptures, and we often talk about simple teachings such as Jesus loving us and being a child of God.

But nope, she doesn't know any Book of Mormon stories. And I shouldn't feel bad for that...because she's 2. I also shouldn't feel bad that other 2 year olds DO know them...because they don't know some of the things we choose to focus on with our child.

So maybe that's where I'm getting...Remember my sarcastic "genius" sentence up above? Most of the "genius" kids I have encountered arent in fact much smarter than my kid. Their parents choose to teach them different things than I teach my daughter. Not smarter, just different. That should be every mother's motto.

I am not trying to compare---but I often feel compared to by others and I hate it.

Hate, hate, hate it. And it makes me feel like a bad mom when I shouldn't.

I love my kids and I think they're pretty darn smart and cute. If I brag and hurt your feelings, please send me an email and let me know. I'm serious. Because I don't want to make you feel the way I feel on a weekly basis.

It sucks.

So here's to 2011. Hopefully it will be a better mothering year for me and a less comparing year for the people in my life.

That is my main goal...maybe I'll write more later.

And that's how Suze sees it.