Monday, January 31, 2011

Me? Beautiful?

I probably should have gone to bed instead of starting this post but I had two link up posts that I wanted to do tomorrow so when I saw that Jen's post was already up tonight, I decided to take advantage of it. :)

Jen gave us one challenge---but that challenge was harder than many others combined for me.
Here is the challenge, copied from her blog:

We as women are bombarded with images of what perfection should look like. And, if you're anything like me, it doesn't appear when looking in the mirror.
I spent a good ten minutes staring in the mirror, trying to look past all the flaws and imperfections and issues I wrestle with every day. I wanted to really SEE myself. It took me close to five minutes to decide on one facial feature that I consider quite beautiful.

Straight after a shower or after you've washed your face, take some time to really look at that woman in the mirror. What do you see that's beautiful? Ignore or re-evaluate those things that have always bugged or challenged you. What is your singular, personal element of beauty? Is it skin, ears, hair? Is it wisdom or humor or understanding in your eyes? We all have one thing that not only makes us individuals. That one thing makes us beautiful. What is yours and why?

It took me a while but I actually came up with two physical and one personality trait.
So let's get started with the physical one.

I chose my hair. I know that may seem silly but my hair is always something I've depended on. In the past 5 years, I've weighed 100 pounds and I've weighed 200 pounds...quite literally. Weight, and moreso a fat, double chin, has been something I've struggled with my whole life. But God blessed me with a special ability to do hair. I really believe that. I've never had any training and yet I grew up cutting my sisters' hair and teaching them how to style it. I have always self-taught when it comes to hair. I don't have many bad hair days and if I do, it's usually because of my choice not to shower often or my other choice of being lazy. :) I have hair that grows fast, hair that can be blonde or brown and still look good, hair that curls and straightens fairly easily, etc. I have been blessed.
The personality trait I chose was that I believe I am very wise and smart for my age.
Dont laugh.
It's quite funny that I am a wise person because I like to act young and crazy and immature. But in reality, I was ready for that baby girl when I was 20 and I was ready for her brother when I was 21. And I have taken parenting seriously and given up so much of my "youth" (early 20's youth? I dont know what you would call it.) because I realize the importance of my children and their need to have a mature and responsible mother. I know I joke about how sometimes I'm not a good mother but I'd argue with anyone who honestly believes that.
I have always been very good at giving advice and being there when a friend needs me. I can never take it back but I know that if my choices had been different in high school, my life would have been greatly impacted and maybe other's lives as well. I have a strong spirit and a pure knowledge that my Savior loves me and that he did die for me. Sadly, I knew all of that in high school and among my bad choices came bad excuses for why I was doing the things I did.
Sorry, that took a wrong turn.

I feel slightly awkward dedicating a blog post to myself but in reality, we as women need to take some time to focus on ourselves once in a while. It is healthy and not vain to love yourself. "If you cant love yourself, how can anybody else?" ~SWH~

And that's how Suze sees it.


Anna M said...

this is beautiful. I love pretty hair, and am still trying to get it! ;)

jen said...

Thanks, Suze. This is great. And not vanity when it's honest. Thanks for linking up.

Sue said...

I agree with Jen, no vanity here. This is a good exercise she gave us, and you just told it like it is!


karen said...

I enjoyed reading this - you are very wise for your years. And I envy you having a love for your hair. It's taken me 57 years to love mine! I admire your honesty and candor - you must be a wonderful friend!

Jamie said...

Totally enjoyed this post, I haven't stopped by before, and jumped from Jen's link party. I would not have guessed your age from your the first part of your post, in fact I did a quick double take when I saw on the side that your kids are still tiny.

Your candor is refreshing, and not vain. This kind of introspection helps us grow in many ways, it's good for the soul.